Over the years, we have decided that our hometown, Penang,
is no longer the best place to be during the festive season. The narrow streets
would be jammed with mostly out-of-town tourists. Being an island, the heat has
always been unbearable this time of the year.

I will miss the island and its food, especially, but the
family will be together in KL, where I have settled down for the past 15 years
and Kuala Lumpur has become a place
I have grown to love dearly. To be more precise, I live and work in Petaling
Jaya but for people in other states, it can only be Kay-El.

Except for a few friends, whom I had grown up with during my
primary school days, my link with the state has grown weaker over the years. I
have become a stranger, in some ways, to my hometown.

My family has long persuaded my parents to move to Petaling
Jaya, where we can look after them better, but being older people, they have
found it hard to uproot themselves and they feel the loneliness of age without
the presence of their friends and relatives.

They do not even want to think about the idea. They dread
the thought of being confined to a cramped apartment, where I used to stay,
even though it was in a nice neighbourhood. Never mind that it was in a
happening place with plenty of yuppies and nice, fancy restaurants.

They hated the crowd, which they found pretentious, and it
struck me that they were right. They wanted real kopitiams with real food
instead of over-priced coffees with names nobody could pronounce. They rightly
did not want to touch the fusion food, which they said was crappy and
confusing. They were again right.

They stayed put in Penang, never mind
the non-existent transport system. They have lived with that all their lives.
Besides, they enjoy the daily grumbling session by Penangites against
everything.

But they do look forward to the yearly get-together in
Petaling Jaya. They, too, have found the crowd and congestion in Penang
impossible to live with and gladly tell their sons that they'd rather celebrate
the festive season here.

The notion of visiting each other during the CNY is
increasingly lost, particularly meeting relatives and friends, whom they don't
actually care about.

My job as the host has become easier over the years. Except
for my daughter, who is in Form Three, I do not have to put up with sisters-in-law
who could be preoccupied with the game of one-upmanship, especially when it
comes to comparing whose kid is better than whose in school. Luckily, I am the
only son whose kid is still in school.

My colleagues have a rougher time. They come back from the
exodus home confessing to me how they perform in their anger management tests
when relatives brag about their cars, careers and holidays.

They tell me that I have made the right decision keeping the
tradition alive, yet keeping a distance away from relatives and nosy friends
who ask straight in the face how much you earn and what car you drive.

I pity my single women colleagues. They go through this
traumatic time every CNY, when they have to explain to their relatives why they
are still unmarried or unattached after all these years . If they come from the
smaller towns, it is worse because the neighbours join in the query as well.

To be fair, most of these relatives, neighbours and friends
really mean well. But as with conversations with people you no longer keep in
touch with, except once a year, it has to revolve around these issues.

It doesn't help either if you do not want to keep such
conversations going unless you seriously want to watch the Cantonese kung fu
and comedy re-runs on TV, which seem to be switched on forever, even when no
one is watching. Worse, you hide yourself in a corner and munch endless packs
of groundnuts and drink cans of carbonated drinks with high sugar content.

I am a lot luckier than my colleagues. My wife is also a
Penangite — that means I do not have to put up with the annual fight over where
married couples should spend their holidays. I am talking about married couples
from different hometowns.

My mother-in-law stays with me in Petaling Jaya, which means
I do not have to put up at my in-laws' place, even when I go back to Penang
because it no longer exists. I get to eat home-cooked food, Penang
style, of course.

This time, I had the best food for the festival. My
peranakan mother proved she has not lost her culinary skills with our favourite
jiew hoo char (a typical Nyonya dish that comprises fine strips of cuttlefish,
mushroom, turnip, carrot and cabbage), chicken rendang and kiam chai th'ng
(salted vegetable soup with duck meat). Tonight, it's the turn of my mother-in-law
to prepare the steamboat dinner.

Staying under one roof during CNY can be difficult for many
families.

It's even tougher for parents to decide which son or
daughter or their families should stay in the better rooms, to keep the peace.

The thought of staying in a hotel is unforgivable but it is
a good part of tradition. It reminds us of our humble background.

I know of chief executive officers of public listed
companies who have to sleep on the floor at home during CNY because their homes
are too small, even after the renovations.

But the ancestral home, where generations have grown up,
must be kept. Sometimes it is not possible but the reunion dinner is something
the Chinese community must never let go.

It is not a superficial gathering, as some cynics and
modernists may say, because the act of family members coming together — even if
it's just for a night —reaffirms our belonging and commitment as a family.

That is the spirit of Chinese New Year. Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Over the last two weeks, I have consistently urged
Malaysians debating on Islamic laws to look at the issues from the perspectives
of all religions and not just theirs alone.

This is essential because no one community should be given
the perception that they have lost or gain.

The rights of all races, whether Muslim or non-Muslim, must
be considered and the end result of any decision taken is that it must satisfy
all races, within the boundaries of their religious requirements and rights.

Some Umno leaders have constantly spoken up on numerous
religious issues bravely although their constituents are predominantly Muslims.
They risked the wrath of their supporters, who may not share their
open-mindedness, but they spoke up.

Realising the moderation of such Umno leaders, leaders from
the MCA, MIC and Gerakan have worked hard to make sure that their PAS
challengers do not come to power.

Umno has also reciprocated by delivering the crucial Malay
votes, especially from the police and army, in closely fought areas between the
Chinese-based parties and the DAP.

Such cooperation and the politics of musyawarah
(consensus-building) practised by the Barisan Nasional have been a hallmark of
racial cooperation in Malaysia.

Unfortunately, the temperature has gone up over the past
weeks as Malaysians debate on issues relating to conversion, the position of
Muslim women, the syariah-civil courts and even a moral squad comprising
volunteers.

But enough has been said. It is best that the matter be left
to the wisdom of the Prime Minister and the Cabinet to handle.

Leaks to the media of what transpired in Cabinet meetings
should not be taken lightly as ministers must be allowed to discuss highly
sensitive issues without any pressure.

It must be noted that the minutes of Cabinet meetings are
protected under the Official Secrets Act.

Delicate issues, using the proper tone, language and
respect, raised at Cabinet meetings may come out differently in the media.

Presented in a different context by the media, some issues can
generate controversy and even retaliation. A memorandum signed by nine
non-Muslim ministers calling for a review of laws that affect the rights of
non-Muslims is one unfortunate example.

Some ministers have expressed their unhappiness at the
unprecedented move, saying it was being disrespectful to the Prime Minister.
That it has now been withdrawn would hopefully put the matter to rest.

We need to take the cue from Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad
Badawi, who said: "We should not be emotional and raise things that create
sensitivity of the multi-racial society. It is a matter of how we act and
speak."

Politicians, especially from the Barisan component parties,
must learn to exercise self-control when making statements on sensitive issues.

Irrespective of their parties, they must remember that they
need to go back to their voters of all races at the end of their five-year
electoral term.

Politicians must also realise that Malaysians now have
access to most newspapers, whether Bahasa Malaysia,
Chinese or Tamil, because translations are easily available.

In short, they can no longer treat issues differently,
according to their racial audience, just to be politically correct.

More importantly, the statements made by Abdullah should be
taken in the right spirit. I am confident he understands the sentiments of all
communities.

At a Hari Raya Haji gathering in Penang
on Jan 11, he gave an assurance that legal ambiguities over religious
conversion would be rectified to prevent confusion in future.

He cautioned that current laws were not clear but warned
that the issue should be handled with care.

Newspapers should not attempt to fan up the issue in the
form of provocative reactions from individuals or groups as it would not help
cool things down. That should be applicable to all newspapers, irrespective of
their medium.

The issue should not be treated as a religious or racial
issue but a social issue with social problems that have emerged out of
religious laws.

We cannot pretend that issues like these do not happen and
take the easy way out by looking the other way. They won't go away as much as
some of us may want to sweep them under the carpet, preferring for them to
simply disappear into thin air.

In a plural society, there are mixed marriages and adoption
of a new faith is something we have to live with. The simple fact is that
Malaysians of different races and religions fall in love every day.

But is love alone sufficient to handle the legal, political
and social implications that may arise when two individuals of different faiths
come together?

The matter goes beyond the family when other institutions,
particularly religious bodies, come into the picture. A family concern
immediately turns into a controversy, and racial and religious overtones come
into play, as much as we want to avoid it.

Because religious laws are involved, many prefer to adopt a
cautious line. Now, even the civil courts seem to have shied away from such
cases, preferring to pass the buck back to the Syariah courts.

The situation soon becomes murky and any discussion on the
subject becomes even more complex because non-Muslims are advised not to touch
on such subjects, of which they have little knowledge. As a result, non-Muslims
find themselves shut out even if it affects them.

Take away the legal jargon and talk about the Federal
Constitution. This effectively sums up what is affecting ordinary Malaysians,
particularly young couples who want to get married or those in the midst of a
divorce.

Recently, a controversy started following the death of Mount
Everest climber Sjn M. Moorthy when his widow and the Federal
Territory Religious Council got into a legal tussle when it was discovered that
he had converted to Islam.

On Dec 28, the High Court ruled that it would not disturb
the declaration that Moorthy was a Muslim because the latter was under the
purview of the Syariah Court
system. Moorthy was eventually buried according to Muslim rites.

Datuk Seri Nazri Aziz, the Minister in the Prime Minister's
Department, and several other ministers then said the Cabinet was of the view
that the civil court should not brush aside cases pertaining to the status of
converts by stating that it had no jurisdiction over them.

Last week, the Prime Minister made it clear that matters
concerning religious conversion needed to be spelt out plainly in the Federal
Constitution and other laws to prevent confusion among Malaysians.

Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi put it aptly, saying that
in whatever legal action that "we initiated, we must also ensure that justice
is served to all", adding that the right of Malaysians to follow the religion
of their choice must be respected.

He reminded Malaysians that "the country has both Muslims
and non-Muslims. We must respect each other's religions and practices. And we
must acknowledge that each religion has its own rights."

The situation in Malaysia,
however, becomes more complicated because every Malay is constitutionally
required to be a Muslim. Although a very small number of Malays have changed
their faith, they have met with great difficulties because there are laws
dealing with apostates.

There have been cases in the past where issues like this are
still not satisfactorily resolved. And there will be cases in the future when
similar questions will arise. It is to our interest that all areas of ambiguity
be dealt with swiftly and fairly.

The Prime Minister is right in saying that the laws must be
made clear. We should also know whether it's the civil or Syariah courts which
should be the forum to decide on these matters.

Cases like these involve civil rights, administrative
matters and religious obligations – unless we know where we stand, there would
be confusion.

Non-Muslims, in arguing their cases, must also bear in mind
that Muslims have their rights too. Non-Muslims should not just see issues from
their own perspective as that would be incorrect.

When non-Muslims talk about their rights, they should take
care not to step on to the sensitivities of Muslims. That is the mark of civil
society, which is for us to respect one another.

Malaysians should be mature enough to discuss these issues
affecting them openly without the emotions. It is good that the leadership has
been liberal in letting the media and public talk about it openly.

But even as we see these delicate issues from a legal angle,
let us not forget that they are about ordinary people like you and me. It can
happen to anyone of us living in Malaysia.

Sometimes, it is about a love between a man and a woman of
different faiths. It could be about a failed marriage and one partner now wants
to get on with his or her life. The nightmare for these people begins when
institutions and authorities come into their lives.

Suddenly, they find they have little say and the confusions
starts with lawyers, politicians, journalists and religious figures taking over
their lives. As Abdullah pointed out, let the laws be clear.

It is important that those in power make the right decisions
as level-headed Malaysians, of whatever faith, will back the leadership.

Moderate Malaysians will pray for our leadership to have
courage. The people must have their say in their affairs, not strangers in the
name of the law.

It is normal for anyone to look at an issue, especially one
relating to race and religion, from one's own perspective. Sometimes, we fail
to take into account the perspectives of other people. All of us are guilty of
it.

Often, we forget that many Malaysians are not as tolerant or
as open-minded as we are. The job of a newsman is to report, but in a
multi-religious and multi-cultural Malaysia,
he also has to make sure that he is reporting for all Malaysians, not just one
race.

In the past, the Bahasa Malaysia, Chinese or Tamil
newspapers were only read by their respective communities. While this is
generally still the case, readers are now able to read in more than one
language.

Furthermore, some of these newspapers also translate their
news onto websites and bloggers are able to draw on certain issues for widespread
discussion on the Internet.

No one should tolerate emotional debate on issues,
especially when the emotions are clouded by racial and religious sentiments,
even if claimed to be done in the name of nationalism.

The same rules governing newspapers should be applied.

But while many laws affecting the Malaysian press, such as
the Printing Presses and Publications Act, remain, the rules of journalism have
changed because of the Internet.

Reporting news is no longer the monopoly of journalists.
Bloggers have provided a forum for citizens to express their views and,
sometimes, they even beat the journalists at their own game.

Participatory journalism and citizen journalists have
emerged in recent times even as mainstream newspapers continue to adopt a cautious
approach in their reporting.

Civic journalism has emerged in Malaysia
because as people become more educated and well-travelled, they want to be
engaged in issues and current events affecting them. They want to be part of
the decision-making process. They want to tell the politicians what to do while
the newspapers may simply report what the politicians said.

Whether it is a political or constitutional matter, they
want to exercise their rights and responsibilities in a democracy. In short,
they do not want politicians and newspapers to tell them what to think and how
to act.

The new generation of Malaysians, who are more exposed to
the Internet, has grown accustomed to such a free flow of information and would
simply find newspapers less than relevant. It will be self-defeating for the
Government if existing laws affecting the media continue to be retained.

As the Internet becomes more interactive, allowing readers
to respond immediately, the print media, too, have adapted to the changes by
asking readers to e-mail their views and even submit photographs and news.

So, what we have in the print media are constraints, legal
or political, but out in cyberspace, it is a free-for-all situation. Many
politicians and bureaucrats are still living in their own world while many have
already moved into the New World.

Be that as it may, in any society, there are laws,
regulations and codes of behaviour. And there should be no exception for the
press.

Nevertheless, journalists still see themselves correcting the
wrongs of society with public interest as their battle cry. But often, the
state feels that the rights of the press must come with responsibilities. While
the press calls for transparency and accountability, the press, too, must be
subjected to such scrutiny.

But as French philosopher Alexis de Tocqueville said some
170 years ago: "You can't have real newspapers without democracy and you can't
have democracy without newspapers."

In a developed nation, or a country aspiring to be one,
democracy is surely essential and the free flow of information is critical.
What may not be reported in a newspaper is simply available, in a bigger way,
on the Internet.

Governments must simply trust their people and for
newspapers to be trusted by the people, the press must be allowed its degrees
of freedom.

Journalism is not just about reporting statements made by
politicians and serving the elite but serving the people as well. Newspapers
are an important channel of feedback of ground sentiment for the government of
the day.

A government that is out of touch with the rakyat because
the media have not reported well is doing a great disservice to the nation and
the leadership.

When Malaysians read the newspapers and watch the news on
television, it is imperative that they believe what they are watching or
reading.

It is important to put on record that the Malaysian press
has been much freer over the past two years under the leadership of Datuk Seri
Abdullah Ahmad Badawi.

It has not been easy for him because there are many powerful
politicians who do not agree with his liberal style and they have conveyed
their uneasiness to him.

But as the media take advantage of the more open atmosphere,
they must appreciate the fact that there is no absolute freedom. Not in the United
States or anywhere.

Still, the journalist must be reminded that his job is not
just to report what he witnessed. He has a higher calling to touch lives; just
as the doctor saves lives, the lawyer defends lives and the soldier protects
lives.

The expedition, estimated to cost close to RM200,000,
will be funded by the Selangor government, Youth and Sports Ministry,
Ex-Servicemen's Affairs Corporation and programme sponsors. In short, public
money will be involved.

It's another bid, which does not require much grey matter, to enter the
Malaysia Book of Records. Very much along the lines of making the longest satay
or buffet, which made many of us cringe in embarrassment.

It has been reported that team members, comprising trainers from the National
Service Training of Trainers Centre, will make the attempt to drape the 210m by
110m national flag and 57 other flags on the pyramid on May 18.

If many Malaysians are not amused by this hare-brained plan, the Egyptians are
fuming mad that we have the audacity to cover up their 4,600-year-old national
icon.

Last week, the chairman of the Egypt's supreme council of antiquities, the body
responsible for the Giza site, reportedly said that he would not allow the
pyramid to be draped.

Its chairman Zahi Hawass said he had rejected other requests to exploit the
Great Pyramid, so why he should allow the Malaysian expedition to carry out
their project.

The mission, according to the organisers, was in response to Datuk Seri
Abdullah Ahmad Badawi's call to the nation to produce "towering Malaysians" and
to raise the profile of the country.

The intention seems noble and even commendable but we can't help feeling that
the organisers appear to have missed the point. Surely the Prime Minister had
other things in mind when he spoke about "towering Malaysians"?

Abdullah, in fact, said Malays should stop wasting time and focus their efforts
on building themselves into "towering personalities" with developed high
intellect, a high-values system, a successful career, a good economic standing
and a well-respected culture and religion.

Making his speech at the Umno general assembly in February, he urged his
listeners to be constructive and to have an objective to better themselves,
adding that they should spend their time looking for great ideas.

Draping the Jalur Gemilang on the pyramid does not seem to cover, pardon the
pun, any of the qualities that fits the "towering Malaysians" which the Prime
Minister had wanted.

When Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad first spoke about the Malaysia Boleh spirit, he
wanted to instil confidence and to motivate Malaysians to strive for bigger
things and purposes. The present leadership has used a new phrase, towering
Malaysians, to continue that push.

But over the last few years, we have seen how that spirit is reduced to aiming
for frivolous achievements such as tallest lantern or biggest ketupat. Granted
that not all Malaysians can be world-class achievers and that a little fun in
making it into the Malaysian Book of Records would not hurt, we still need to
set greater heights if we want to be noticed worldwide.

Some time in October 2004, I asked Tun how he felt that some Malaysians seemed
to have got the Malaysia Boleh spirit wrong. The former premier, however, was
more forgiving.

He said some Malaysians could not think of any remarkable feat to achieve, so
they had to settle for the frivolous records. But he commended those who had
faith in themselves, citing people like Azhar Mansur, who sailed solo around
the world, and Malik Mydin, who swam across the English Channel. He described
such courageous people as serious.

We do not know whether the organisers of the pyramid mission had sought the
permission before going ahead with the trip. 
Surely, that would be a basic requirement. If official permission has
been given, then they need to resolve the problem quick as the Egyptian
rejection has raised the Malaysian profile in a manner we surely can do without.

That aside, we need to be more cautious of proclaiming our achievements,
particularly when others do not view them in the manner that we do.  Recently, a university took a full-page
advertisement listing its many firsts.

While some of its achievements deserves our applause, we wonder whether
claiming credit to be the first university to confer an honorary doctorate on
Dr Mahathir and the late Datin Seri Paduka Endon Mahmood would help to elevate
the academic standing of the university. 
So is the claim to be the first university in Southeast Asia to sign a
memorandum of standing with the University de Bologna in Italy.

Malaysians, whether as individuals or organisations, need to be mindful of how
we blow our trumpets. The intentions may be genuinely good but we should not
end up being a laughing stock.

Neither does it make sense to take part in third-rate contests to win gold
medals where we make up the majority of participants while the rest of the
academic community cast doubts on it.

Let's do away with our sendiri syok mentality.

It is good to be confident but we should not be naive to assume that we are
tops in many things, especially when the world has become more competitive.

Let's make it our New Year resolution to be "towering Malaysians" by setting
our goals right in areas that matter and which will win us internationally
recognised accolades.