Author Archives: wcw

No ordinary life for them

The wedding of Prince William to Kate Middleton has not just been a British event but also a global one with over two billion people worldwide following the telecast.

Outside Westminster Abbey, there were huge numbers of foreigners, many from countries that have long dumped their kings and queens for presidents, and they were cheerfully waving little Union Jacks.

Stuff of fairy tales: The kiss that this writer, who was busy trying to write his column, did not witness in real time. — AP

Most are not even from Commonwealth countries, which would have at least explained their affection for the British monarchy.

Along Oxford Street, the shops burst with flags and mugs made by Guangdong Enter­prise. If you were not careful, you might have ended up with mugs with the face of Prince Harry instead of Prince William with Kate Middleton.

At Tottenham Court Road, even the Socialist Workers’ bookshop took advantage of the celebration, albeit with a difference. There, little bags with the words “For You To Throne Out – the Royal Wedding Makes Me Sick” and mugs with “Forget about the Royal Wedding – Remember the Cuts” were the star items.

And in British newspapers and television, there was really nothing much besides huge write-ups and shows about the marriage of a middle class woman, whom they are now touting as the future Queen Catherine, and a Prince.

I am in London but I chose to watch television instead of joining 500,000 people on the streets to try to catch a glimpse of the royal couple. My family members, friends and colleagues were upset with my choice and would probably not talk to me when they read that as the world paused to watch if the newly-weds would kiss each other on the balcony of Buckingham Palace, I was sitting at a Queensway coffee shop trying to write this column. The pubs were not open yet, for the record.

I do not think I am alone. A report in the Daily Mail said that in a poll of over 1,000 people across the UK, 46% said they were neither interested nor excited by the royal wedding. Thirty-seven per cent said they were while 17% were ambivalent.

Either the UK is a nation of liars, as the newspaper’s writer implied, or people were just following the trend set by the media and decision makers.

But I still like to believe that the majority of people liked this little bit of escapism. The royal wedding may seem like an expensive and trivial distraction to a country that has to cut down on subsidies but it has also brought people together.

Except for British anti-monarchy sour grapes and cynics like me, who did not get an invitation, the world loves a story of a beautiful commoner marrying a handsome prince. It’s a great love story and all of us want to feel good and be happy for them. The world already has enough news reports of earthquakes, riots and hunger.

But there’s a lesson for royalty worldwide. The world has changed and they, too, have to change if they want to remain relevant and still be loved.

On the eve of his wedding, Prince William was at The Mall, not far from the palace, to meet well-wishers who had camped there for the celebrations.

And they must be the first British royal couple to let the world know that they have been living together for years before they wed. That would have been entirely unacceptable in the snobbish Victorian age.

We all know how important public perception is for kings, queens, presidents, politicians and celebrities. The hype around them is created by the media but sometimes, some of them end up believing they are immortals.

The public hold them in high esteem but when they are not quite the saviours or role models that they are expected to be, the public’s misty image of them will come crushing down. There’s sometimes shock, denial and disbelief.

Fairy tales sometimes do not have a happy ending, as in the case of Diana, the Princess of Wales. She was probably a bigger figure than Kate but we hope the ending would be a much happier one for the young couple.

The world expects that but William and Kate are also ordinary human beings even if they are not common people.

Time to reflect after the polls

The latest indication was the victory of DAP in the Sibu parliamentary by-election last year. The SUPP (and Barisan Nasional’s) candidate Robert Lau Hui Yew was defeated by Wong Ho Leng.

But there were earlier warnings that showed the growing discontentment of the Chinese voters whose support was once regarded as solidly for the ruling coalition.

The first indication came in the 2006 state election when DAP won six seats, and most newspapers headlined the wins as shockers. But the strong performance of DAP in the urban seats this time should not surprise anyone, least of all Taib and SUPP president Tan Sri Dr George Chan, who has lost to DAP’s Ling Sie Kiong in Piasau.

The huge crowd at DAP ceramah coupled with the sense of political empowerment was enough to tell Taib of the dark clouds that had been formed.

DAP, with its homegrown leaders, has always been more acceptable than its Pakatan Rakyat counterparts because PKR and PAS have always been regarded as peculiar by the locals.

With their influence confined to the urban areas, Taib has tolerated this urban dissent as he is well aware that the real political “fixed deposits” were locked away in the rural areas. This would be where the Barisan strength has always remained.

DAP had targeted Taib in its campaign, knowing full well that Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak has an enormously strong appeal among the Chinese. They would openly tell you that they have no argument with Barisan either. They just want Taib to retire.

They were no longer willing to listen to the oft repeated statements by Taib that he was grooming his successors. The last one where he said he had been training someone for the last 20 years only made it worse.

But strangely, despite the anger directed towards Taib, he remains an icon of Sarawak’s pluralism and religious tolerance. He has been accused of overstaying, nepotism, corruption and mismanagement but he gets top marks for open-mindedness, pluralism and religious tolerance.

Still, that was not enough for the urban voters who wanted change. They wanted to voice out loudly through the ballots what they felt was wrong with the state government.

This time, PKR also managed to make some inroads, winning three of the 49 seats they contested.

Certainly, once the analysis has been concluded, it would show that many emotive issues were either taken lightly or handled badly.

Besides over-prized white elephant projects and Barisan leaders who overstayed, there were the 2Ls – Land and Lord. In the former, dissatisfaction among Iban voters over their rights to Native Customary land was a major issue. As for the latter, the badly-handled Bahasa Malaysia Bible issue had significant impact on the people of Sarawak, where 40% of the voters are Christians.

The irony in the Bahasa Malaysia Bible issue is that Taib is probably the churches’ best listener but there were certainly plenty of thinly-veiled prayers suggesting that he and Barisan should be defeated.

Yet, Taib remains the only Muslim leader who dared to publicly declare that he sat for a Bible examination as a student and did well too.

He has also openly declared that he and his father helped raised funds for church buildings. Certainly, no Malay leader – Barisan or PR – in the peninsula would dare to do so.

At a time when many Muslim politicians seemed to shy away from attending church functions, he attended a church opening during the election campaign.

Sarawak remains the only state to have a museum showcasing the contribution of the Chinese community in the state at a prime spot. Many road signs still carry Chinese characters and in some state ministries, Chinese is widely used in the work place.

He appointed a Chinese mayor, Song Swee Guan from SUPP, for Kuching South in 1988. When SUPP lost the Padungan seat in 2006, a Chinese non-politician took over and still holds the post.

With DAP having doubled their seats from six to 12, and SUPP’s 12 reduced to six, the Chinese community may find its representation in government severely affected. That is the political reality.

The other ethnic groups are surely expected to be rewarded for their loyalty to the ruling coalition and the Cabinet line-up would have to show that.

The urban Chinese appeared to have cast their votes for DAP well aware of the consequences, with some rebutting that even when SUPP was strongly represented in government, the community’s participation in the state economy was not reflected. These were more Chinese symbolism and tokenism than real political and economic returns, they argued.

There was never any doubt from the beginning that the Barisan would retain the state with its two-thirds intact. It would only be SUPP that would be walloped.

SUPP had also never gone on the offensive after losing Sibu. In fact, it was business as usual for them after 2006, even when many were predicting their political misfortune.

Like Taib, Dr Chan should have also retired but he, too, stayed longer than he should, still talking about “unfinished projects” on the eve of election day.

Sarawakians have decided. The politicians, winners and losers, need to take a deep look at themselves.

Stop blaming the voters, the media and everyone else.

Of fake eggs and sex videos

I suspect that he, like many expatriates, has also been buying pirated videos. He seems to be able to talk about so many movies and I know he never has enough time to go to the cinemas.

But he seems to have adjusted pretty well.

Like many Malaysians, he has openly denounced piracy and insists that he has never watched a pirated DVD – not even once in his life.

I am worried because hypocrisy seems to be eating into his life rather quickly.

It has eaten into the lives of many Malay­sians and I do not want to see that happen to this once naive American friend from the rural mid-west of the United States.

As expected, he asked whether he could get a copy of the video featuring a man resembling Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim.

He has heard so much about it that he feels he can only make an authoritative judgement after he sees the entire video, he said.

Many of his friends have condemned the video, dismissing it as trash and gutter politics. They are outraged over the sordid political tactics.

But, of course, they would need to see the rest of the 21-minute video to make an educated conclusion.

The one-minute clip on YouTube and blog­spots was insufficient, plus it was a little grainy. Yes, a thorough viewing of the entire video would be required. Of course, it’s pathetic and immoral.

Paul, who claimed to be speaking on behalf of his friends, said that after watching the one-minute clip closely over and over again, their opinions are deeply divided.

Some have sworn that the man looked like Anwar after viewing it for the first few seconds. Others have said the first few seconds were enough to convince them that the actor was an impersonator.

He is also confused why some of his politically vocal friends – those who would usually demand for the setting up of a Royal Com­mission of Inquiry for the flimsiest issues – are angrily shooting down any proposal to set up such a commission, calling it a ridiculous idea.

Paul had another question: what’s this about real eggs and fake eggs? He has heard about pirated videos and there is this on-going debate over whether the sex video is doctored or whether the actor is really Anwar or an impersonator.

But fake eggs? This one really left me with egg on my face.

I told him that as a Penangite, I still get teased by my colleagues over how tight we hold on to our money.

Okay, stingy, if that’s the word that would please all of you who want to pick issues with Penangites.

We are constantly being reminded that we used to bring our own eggs when we buy our char koay teow.

That’s an old story but for some reason, many continue to think that Penangites are still carrying on with such thrifty practices.

I am beginning to suspect that all these people who criticise us have an agenda. A political agenda. An enemy from within.

But a fake egg? No Penangite, I can vouch on this, has ever tried fake eggs. A tray of real eggs costs RM10.50 but a tray of the fake ones costs RM11.

Come on, Penangites would never pay more for something faked – or doctored, in the current video lingo.

I had to confess to Paul that I have never come across a fake egg. I love eggs and I may need to eat these fake ones to ascertain if they are really fakes.

The news reports have said they could be from China. At this point, I had to ask Paul whether Americans, who are ever so jealous of the booming Chinese economy, could be spreading the hoax to discredit the Chinese.

As expected, Paul started to get agitated. National pride was at stake and, to him, the US is not in the business of blaming the Chinese for fake eggs. He demanded an apology.

I was in fact wondering if Paul would next demand for the setting up of a Royal Com­mission of Inquiry to determine if the eggs were fakes, how they were imported, if bribes were taken and which ministries were to be held responsible.

Of course, I would oppose that vehemently. Who is this American or his former ambassador to tell us Malaysians how to run our country?

But this American from the mid-west wasn’t sharp enough. He hasn’t become as politically emotional as many Malaysians. He hasn’t learned the art of being politically biased while pretending to be completely neutral.

Then he told me all his friends are saying they do not go to massage centres or spas now. Definitely a “no” to “rocket massage” or “sexy massage”, he said.

Yes, they need rejuvenation but NO massage. They prefer to go to “health wellness centres”.

For his final question, Paul asked if these are real or fake massages and whether they would bring “health well-being” as advertised. Friends have also asked where they can buy CCTV detectors, he said.

I think Paul will be in Malaysia for a while.

All for nought

But the cloak-and-dagger operation, with journalists being given last minute instructions on the time and location, the dark glasses and metal scanner plus the mysterious Datuk T, has all come to nought.

Within hours of the first screening at Carcosa Seri Negara, word was leaking out via Twitter about what was taking place. Reporters were alerting each other and, as the organiser himself said, over 20 pressmen were soon clamouring to watch it. The show had to end abruptly.

The next day, the people behind it – Tan Sri Rahim Tamby Chik, Datuk Shazryl Eskay Abdullah and Datuk Shuaib Lazim – were exposed on the Internet as Datuk T. The name which the press had thought was of one person was actually the moniker for the three Datuks. Rahim and Shazryl then held a press conference to declare that they were the men behind the video.

The question now is, of course, whether Eskay had stumbled upon the video recorder or he was the mastermind. The police should be asking him this.

He had signed off the press release as “The Insider” and even said he was on the video – presumably as the person who arranged the tryst between the woman and the man.

Bits of information have surfaced regarding the background of Eskay, who is said to be close to Anwar and was his physiotherapist. If he is Anwar’s friend, as he claimed, why did he turn against the PKR leader?

It would appear now that the plotters had no intention to hide for long. The room in Carcosa was said to have been booked under Rahim’s name, so either he was careless or brazenly brave.

It is learnt that Rahim had scheduled a press conference on Monday afternoon and that it was not a hasty reaction after being exposed by PKR and bloggers.

But the point is there are probably more sceptics than believers. Many are seeing this as an attempt to destroy the Opposition Leader, who is already on trial on a sodomy charge. They are also asking whether he is into women or men. They find it hard to comprehend.

A huge number of Malaysians are inclined to believe that either the video is doctored or the man isn’t Anwar.

This scepticism isn’t just confined to the “Anwar can do no wrong” admirers. Those who just dislike the Government but are not necessarily pro-opposition are also of the same mind. Strangely, even the strongest Umno supporters have their doubts. The sex video caught them off guard, and they called the media to warn them not to fall into Anwar’s trap.

Several Umno supreme council members also expressed reservations over the emergence of the video, saying that it was not necessary and was of no help to them. They added that they are being blamed and that they could do without it.

They claimed it was produced by Anwar’s men to stall the sodomy trial, which has entered a crucial phase, to show that he prefers women and not men. It was reverse psychology, some claimed.

In short, this scandal is both intriguing and bizarre. Not only have people questioned the credibility and integrity of institutions such as the police, even the trio had initially refused to hand over the sex video and an Omega watch that is said to belong to Anwar to the police.

Politicians who are caught having sex on camera are not committing any crime. But, as elected representatives, they have to face the court of the people. If they have been playing the moral card, the price will be heavier. In the case of Muslims, there is the Syariah court to answer to for khalwat or zina.

But as politicians and public figures, they are all expected to live up to certain standards.

It is good that those who produced the video have been hauled up by the police. What they did is not just an intrusion of privacy but a criminal offence too.

In 1992, Karpal Singh walked into parliament and exposed then Deputy Dewan Rakyat Speaker D.P. Vijandran for being in a sex video. The latter was then the MIC secretary-general.

Back then, Karpal Singh said he had no intention of inflating the pornographic video issue but was doing so “in the public interest” while then MIC chief S. Samy Vellu dismissed the allegations, saying “I myself am calm because I know the truth”.

Samy even boldly remarked that Vijandran would come out of the controversy with “flying colours”. In the end, however, the up-and-coming MIC politician had to quit as the video had already been widely circulated.

In the case of Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek, another victim of gutter politics, he had the guts to own up.

He didn’t blame the opposition but instead took full responsibility, quit his various posts, sought forgiveness from his family and went into political rehabilitation. He paid a heavy price then but when he stood for re-election, he was elected as MCA president.

Even Selangor PKR leader Elizabeth Wong was a victim of sordid politics that resulted from, it was said, internal party feuds. In her case, some Barisan Nasional leaders even defended her.

But the video incriminating Anwar has only been shown to a handful of pressmen and politicians. That means judgment has been pronounced based not on facts but on assump­tions. One cannot speak with authority unless one has watched it.

Those who have viewed it, however, are most likely to keep their opinions to themselves or will only talk about it in private. While some have dismissed it, there are others who are totally convinced.

Some have described the room as dark while others said it was bright and the quality of the video was good and sharp.

Some said the man could be a look-alike, an impersonator who has perfected Anwar’s mannerism, while those who are convinced said they would stand by their opinion unless a twin brother shows up.

The date and time are shown on the video but Anwar claims he has an alibi. Eskay, however, maintains that he is in the video with Anwar.

Malaysians want to know the identity of the man who resembles Anwar and whether the video clip was doctored. These are the key concerns.

No one knows what the future plans of the Datuk Trio, who claim they are doing it in the public interest, are. Two men involved in the case were arrested on Thursday and later released on bail, and it looks like they may face court charges.

Is the sex video scandal about to go to court? If so, Act Two could be even more interesting.

Find a way out of this deadlock

The Star has been issued a reprimand letter from the Home Ministry for reporting on the 5,000 impounded Bahasa Malaysia Bibles in a March 9 article. An editor of this newspaper represented me after we were asked to meet the ministry officials in Putrajaya.

While the reprimand letter is certain to lead to some cautiousness on the part of the print media, it is not going to stop the issue from being brought up on the Internet. This is the Digital Age and old-fashioned Analogue methods will not work as more mediums of information are available.

For that matter, the controversy would be taken up and, worse, exploited in ceramahs. It is, for sure, a hot topic in many places.

Furthermore, the Bible in Bahasa Malaysia can be downloaded in full from the Internet.

So, just take the trouble to listen and don’t worry about the press. It is certainly our responsibility to report on issues. As long as national security is not threatened, we have a duty to take up the views of the people.

The deadlock over the Bahasa Malaysia Bible has dragged on for too long and it has led to some urgency this time because of the impending Sarawak elections.

There is an estimated 40% of Christian voters in Sarawak. Among them are the Ibans and other indigenous groups, many of whom have consistently voted for the ruling party.

They have used Bahasa Malaysia in their worship, sermons and prayers. They are comfortable reading the Malay language Bible and many of their churches use Bahasa Malaysia names. These include the highly respected Sidang Injil Borneo (SIB).

Like it or not, the word “Allah” has long been a norm among Christian worshippers in Sabah and Sarawak to describe God. For that matter, the Peranakan community in Malacca also use that term of reference.

But many Malay Muslims feel that the term “Allah” should only be used exclusively by them. They are suspicious that the word, so closely associated with Islam, could be a ploy to convert Muslims.

In fact, 10 out of the 13 states here banned non-Muslims from using up to 35 Arabic terms including Allah, with Selangor banning the use of 25 words either orally or in writing.

The argument that the word “Allah” is used by Christians in Muslim countries like Egypt, Syria and even Indonesia isn’t likely to change the minds of most Muslims here. For religious and cultural reasons, that is something that has to be considered.

But the issue of the impounded BM Bibles has taken a turn for the worse. A decision to release the Bibles, which were printed in Indonesia, to appease Christians here has resulted in an unexpected reaction, at least for the authorities.

The church has refused to collect them and Christians are infuriated because of the require­ment to stamp the words “For Christians Only” on these Bibles. The move to put serial numbers on the Bibles has also upset many Christians.

By right, these Bibles should have been released in Sarawak without any conditions since the state does not have an enactment prohibiting the use of the word “Allah” among non-Muslims. Muslims in Sarawak are also used to the word being used by churches and it has never been an issue for them.

In short, if it is not an issue in Sabah and Sarawak, why is there a need to complicate the matter?

We do not have to be experts of the Constitution to know that state enactments cannot supersede the Federal Constitution. That is why the PAS-led Kelantan government cannot ban the sale of lottery tickets as it is provided for nationwide under federal law.

Religion may be state matters but the Federal Constitution reigns supreme with the guarantee of freedom to profess and practise one’s religion (Article 11).

There is a need for clearer guidelines. In Selangor, non-Muslims cannot use “Allah” but the word is in the state anthem. The police crest, which is worn by non-Muslims, also has the word “Allah”.

In fact, the decision to stamp the words “For Christians Only” could well be unconstitutional. The Federal Constitution is very clear on the right of Malaysians to religious freedom, even though there are laws that may control or restrict the propagation of any religious doctrine or belief among Muslims.

But there is no evidence that these imported Bibles would be used to propagate to Muslims. By putting conditions such as serial numbers and stamping “For Christians Only” on the Bibles, the authorities could well be exceeding their powers and even infringe the Federal Constitution.

If indeed these Bibles have been stamped, then there is a need to cover these words with stickers that say “Christian Publications”.

While there are certain laws that control or restrict the propagation of any religious belief or doctrine among Muslims, there are no such restrictions to people of other faiths or who are free thinkers.

To limit the Bible with a “For Christians Only” chop would deprive these others of access to the Bible. It would mean limiting their constitutional right to profess and practise their religion.

A better way out of this deadlock would be to use the words “Christian Publications”, which was reportedly accepted by all parties in 2005.

It is not clear whether the agreement was in writing, and why the change now, but there has to be a quick and amicable solution too. Religion is highly sensitive and the Home Ministry is right in reminding the media to be cautious. But rational reporting should be accepted and even encouraged. There’s a need to remove the emotive elements in the controversy. While the move to number and stamp the Bible may not be right, to claim that these are moves to “deface” or “desecrate” the Holy Book could be too emotive as well.

Without doubt, feelings have been hurt as this involves a sacred book. However, Bibles are sometimes stamped with the names of donors and, in some cases, they are also personalised to the owner’s style.

But when the stamping is done by the authorities, it takes on a different dimension.

The impasse is best resolved quickly. There is already an appeal to overturn a High Court decision allowing the Catholic Herald to use the word “Allah” in their Christian publications, of which there is no conclusion in sight. If a court challenge is made over the stamping and serial numbering, it would aggravate the situation.

There are no winners when religious disputes go to court. It is better resolved outside but there has to be sincerity from all sides as there cannot be ad hoc decisions and non-compliance to agreements. The church and the authorities have got to move on.

In this season of Lent, as we pray and prepare ourselves for Easter with repentance, fasting, spiritual discipline and moderation, let us remind ourselves that the Bible only comes alive because of our faith. The Bible, in the most perfect condition, will remain useless if it is just left on the shelf, untouched.

English: A handicap we must overcome

He delivered the message because the AMS students had the lowest graduate employability rate in comparison to all other faculties six months after they completed their studies.

He made the call based on statistics provided by the ministry out of concern. But rather than accept the fact, the students have instead demanded that Dr Ghauth state his stand on the national language. Some individuals have even left nasty comments on YouTube, calling him biadap (recalcitrant) and khianat (traitor) for delivering the message.

But the good professor is sticking to his guns: he is prepared to clarify the matter with the unhappy students but he will not apologise to them.

Good for him. The demand is unreasonable. In fact, the students should be appreciative of the call by the ministry as it tells them what most employers already know – that the standard of English among many of our graduates is so poor it has become an alarming situation.

Many employers have adopted a pessimistic approach, accepting the situation as beyond repair because many school leavers and graduates are unable to construct a decent sentence in English. Many have no grounding in English grammar and are unable to even tell the difference between present and past tenses.

It is not just school leavers and graduates who are in this situation, as poor command of English can also be detected among university lecturers and teachers through their conversations and written work.

In fact, one deputy minister’s English is so bad, his writing has been circulated on the Internet as an example to show how bad the situation is.

He purportedly wrote a review of a play in English and posted it on his blog. With cyberspace being the open domain that it is, his weakness, unfortunately, was widely exposed. The horrifying part is that his portfolio is related to education and it does not help that he is also known for his anti-English stand.

The pattern seems to be that those who are the most vocal against the use of English are generally weak in this language. In their attempts to cover their weakness, they try to project themselves as nationalists and defenders of the sacredness of the national language. Denial syndrome, one may say.

There are, of course, those who speak impeccable English and would gladly trade our iconic teh tarik for English afternoon tea and scones but they project themselves in a similar fashion in the most hypocritical way for political expediency.

Most of us are sure that the problem is not confined to graduates of AMS alone. I dare say the problem of poor command of English has affected all faculties in all public universities. And, let’s be frank, it’s in private universities too.

It would also be most unfair to say that the poor standard of English is confined to Malay students. It is a problem among Chinese and Indians too because of our education policy, which has clearly abandoned English.

Young Chinese seem to have become almost monolingual. Walk into a shopping mall and, if you are Chinese, you will be approached by salesmen speaking in Mandarin or Cantonese. When you reply in English, they will struggle to converse with you.

Dr Ghauth has taken the right approach. He could have gained popularity by playing the racial card and told the AMS students how great they are and that they would be future leaders of the country. But he would be leading them down a false path.

When they remain jobless, like the thousands who already are, they will conveniently blame the government. They will also blame the private sector, claiming that they are showing preference for certain sectors of applicants. They will hope to be employed by the public sector which is increasingly bloated.

Many of our graduates have never been motivated to become entrepreneurs. Rather, the aspiration is to become civil servants. This is one serious area of concern if we wish to compete effectively with other countries. But this is another story.

In China, they are putting emphasis on the teaching of English. The young are being taught to pronounce English words correctly, whether the American or English way.

In India, English is still given priority even as nationalists there are trying to push Hindi.

Malaysians with a poor command of English are entering universities. There they find that the academic books are in English but the medium of teaching is in Bahasa Malaysia.

Many struggle to understand what they read and to help themselves, some turn to similar books in Bahasa Indonesia, which they again struggle to comprehend. Most of the contents in the Internet are in English and are therefore of no help to these students.

In cases where students are required to take an English course because their command of the language is so pathetic, these students try to memorise essays, hoping that the same topics would be in their tests. That’s how low we have sunk in our standard of English.

Unfortunately, most of our politicians are not brave enough to grab the bull by the horns to tackle the problem. Many of them, of course, would have sent their children to schools overseas to ensure they have a strong grounding in English.

Malaysia, truly puzzling

Paul, who has just settled here, says Malay­sia is truly remarkable. If you are a loyal, law-abiding citizen who pays your summonses on time, you get no discount. But if you ignore the police, you get rewarded, he points out.

Paul loves the rebellious attitude of Malay­sians who dare to stand up to the authorities. It reminds him of his American forefathers who “tea partied” the colonists.

When American kids think of the 4th of July, they only think of BBQ and fireworks. The truly independent spirit is now lacking among the young Americans who probably never had a “Tiger mom”.

Their idea of independence is the Fourth of July holiday and Will Smith’s apocalyptic-themed movie. If only they could learn from the Malaysians, he says.

The most daring part, he tells me, is that the offenders are posing proudly for the media with their long print-out of unpaid summonses.

“Who says the Malaysian middle class are cowards? I mean, many of the print-outs are longer than toilet rolls. It’s just amazing.”

And they even grumble loudly about the long queues, heat and the breakdown of the computer system (so Third World), blaming it on the incompetent police force.

But the fact that these flouters of the law can get away from the cops may mean that our law enforcers are busy chasing criminals instead of wasting time on such trivial matters as traffic offences. No wonder Malaysia has become safer, he says.

Paul says the police here also have a big heart. He is amazed that deadlines continue to be extended despite earlier stern and non-compromising warnings by those in authority.

He has also confronted me, in the typical straight on the face American-style, with an observation on how the media has been covering the Sodomy II case.

Paul, who has read every single word, every line and every sentence of the court case, is saying Malaysians are not as conservative as he has been made to believe.

So engrossed is he with the trial, he has regularly stolen office time to check online for the details of the sodomy case.

He is shocked at the detailed description of body parts and use of sexual terminology. No one seems to be red-faced, he noticed.

“I am addicted to the case. At the end of each story, it always says ‘more to come’. Never ‘details to follow’ but always ‘more to come’. You guys are funny – and I thought you guys have no imagination,” he tells me.

I have no answer to that because I have never even thought of it.

What’s with Paul? Is he Sarah Palin or what? Why is he picking faults? Why is he looking for hidden agendas when there’s none? I am already getting irritated and somewhat offended as the conversation has encroached into my territory.

He has another complaint. He does not understand the Malaysian obsession with soccer. That’s his word. We would rather call it football.

Every Malaysian he has met seems to ask each other what football team they support. He cannot comprehend why Malaysians get so excited watching 22 guys chasing a ball for 90 minutes – and most times only to see a goal or two being scored.

But what’s so wonderful about the football of the great United States of America, where the players kick each other on the field and most of the time they can’t even see the ball because they are all huddled together, pushing, shoving and roughing each other up?

And the English Premier League is a joke to him because most of the players are not even English. “Even in the sodomy trial, you guys have to talk about football. One lawyer spoke about half of a football team and around someone’s anus.”

He is still confused with Malaysians talking about “giving half a ball” when they bet on the outcome of the matches. All this talk about “balls” in football and politics have left him lost. He’s said that even the police like to use “bola 1, bola 2, bola over” when they talk over the radio.

“By the way, when are you taking me for the fishball soup which you have been raving about?” he asks. “Fish and balls? I can’t wait to try.”

I can see Paul is enjoying every minute of his stay in Malaysia. Truly paradoxical but truly Malaysian, too.

Sick of the same old mantra

On The Beat
By WONG CHUN WAI

Usually, the search for a successor will end at their home. The chosen one is often the eldest son. But if the eldest one has an incurable obsession with visits to Disneyland, Macau casinos or Eric Clapton concerts, then Plan B would be to choose the other sons or even a nephew.

Hosni Mubarak, the recently deposed president of Egypt, was trying to hatch dynastic ambitions by grooming his son Gamal to succeed him. Gaddafi shares the same ambition, as does Kim Jong-II, who certainly still thinks his family owns North Korea.

But even the North Korean generals must be shaking their heads in disbelief at the exploits of Gaddafi, or for that matter Osama bin Laden. We won’t be surprised if Osama is now making another poor quality, inaudible tape for the CIA to decipher.

Osama has always taken the trouble to call Al-Jazeera to claim responsibility for his exploits against the West. But we are certain he won’t claim credit for the anarchy in Libya.

He has been blamed for every terrorist act committed in the world but to accuse al-Qaeda of lacing the coffee and alcohol of Libyans with drugs, which Gaddafi has done, is certainly icing on the cake. The best part is that Gaddafi expects his people and the world to believe him. He has either been high on drugs himself or he wants the world to love him for his morbid sense of humour.

After failing to convince the world, particularly the United States, that the rebellion is the evil work of Osama, Gaddafi then blamed the Islamists, accusing them of wanting to turn Libya into a satellite state of Iran.

But the Americans are still not impressed.

Obviously, the 68-year-old loony leader will need to rewrite his script. For example, he could blame his team of four voluptuous blonde Ukrainian nurses or female bodyguards for the civil unrest. They were probably jealous and were fighting over him!

There’s a sub-plot, however. He plans to blow up the oil plants. Now, that’s a terrifying prospect because Libya has the largest reserves of oil in Africa. The chaos in North Africa and the Middle East is already causing mayhem around the world with prices of crude oil skyrocketing. It means we will have to pay more for our petrol and travelling would for sure be more expensive.

The cost of production will shoot up with food items, now already expensive, becoming more pricey and the economy of countries will be adversely affected.

The message from Gaddafi seems to be: “If I go, I am dragging everyone with me.”

That includes hurting us where it hurts most – our pockets. Soon, our electricity bills will shoot up. And before you know it, most of us might have to learn to live in tents. Well, it could be a case of “You can take Gaddafi out of Libya but you can’t take out what Gaddafi will do to our lives.”

The game is just beginning in Libya but let’s hope it will end speedily. He has to go very soon so Libya and the world can move on.

One thing is for sure, Gaddafi must not have the last laugh in this high stakes’ fight.

Malaysia, truly paradoxical

Malaysians are supposed to be lazy when it comes to reading. They read an average of one page a year. Okay, the latest statistics say one-and-a-half pages.
But Paul is amazed at how we have become so emotionally interlocked over a book first published over 40 years ago. We may not have produced any literary giants, except our home-grown laureates, but he is impressed by how passionate we are when it comes to literature.
Like elsewhere, money doesn’t grow on trees here but access to it is pasted on every available place on the streets.

With thousands and thousands of notices plastered all over the city – offering competitive rates with just one mobile phone number to call – Paul thinks getting loans in Malaysia is rather easy.

He’s impressed that the country is both flushed with funds and how easy it is for people to borrow cash as there’s no red tape. Even those blacklisted can borrow. It’s a great country, he says.

Malaysians are health freaks. They are so health conscious that spas and services for massages, starting from foot massages upwards, have been sprouting all over towns and cities.

Notices promoting “Honey Massage” and “Rocket Massage” are even sprayed on walls. And of course, the Malaysian service providers are super efficient, making the massages available with just a phone call.

Malaysians love debates. Every other day, someone seems to be throwing a challenge to debate with another. He feels that these guys must have great oratory skills. He thinks that this is yet another indicator of a truly democratic country.

Paul finds it hard to fathom that Malaysia has a problem with corruption. Something is not quite right as Malaysians are also so religious. His question: If everyone gets all worked up whenever religious matters are questioned, how can the country be grappling with corruption? Many seem so puritanical too.

Paul also observes that Malaysians are environmentally conscious and take great pains in loving their trees. There may not be tree huggers like in the West but he thinks we protect our environment using the full brunt of the law.

He thinks our policemen spend an awful lot of time protecting trees because he always sees them behind trees, along the roads and highways. Such dedication and love for the greens, he says.

Paul has also found out that Malaysia, which used to rely on rubber for its economic growth in early days, still tends to stretch the meaning of being on time.

He has learned that when people say “on the way” or “coming soon”, it really means they are still at home or have yet to begin their journey.

Paul has also discovered that “traffic jam” is the most convenient Malaysian excuse for not being punctual, even if the person arrives an hour late. The rule of thumb is to add another hour if it rains.

But the best part is this: Malaysians must love many things about pirates. We call unlicensed taxis “pirate taxis” and imitation DVDs, “pirated DVDs”.

Pirated DVDs are illegal but openly sold. No one would admit buying or owning one but many Malaysians seem familiar with it.

And pirated DVDs even carry messages telling Malaysians why they should NOT buy pirated DVDs, with a short trailer of a speeding car, showing you the difference in quality between an original and a pirated copy.

Malaysia is truly amazing. Paul is already in love with Malaysia after being here a month.

To know Malaysia is certainly to love Malaysia.

Never overstay, a lesson from Cairo

We don’t know what his cronies have been telling him but a majority of the people who gathered at Tahrir Square over the past two weeks certainly knew who Mubarak was.

They wanted him to go. They had already grown tired of his leadership and irrespective of what he has done for Egypt as a war hero, they were not going to miss him.

Getting rid of Mubarak in this arguably short, bloodless revolution is the easy part. No one is clear as to what will happen next, however.

For the time being, the Egyptians are just jubilant that they have managed to get rid of the man they regard as a despot.

Mubarak has passed the baton to his deputy, Omar Suleiman, who is said to be another hugely unpopular figure. He is regarded as being too close to the United States and Israel, and has been accused of being a CIA agent.

But the transition, or Mubarak’s resignation, could not be carried out until the United States had accepted someone they were comfortable with. In this case, it was Suleiman.

In the early days of the uprising, the Obama administration had stood behind Mubarak.

The American media, including CNN, seemingly took their time to cover the unfolding historic event.

US President Barack Obama himself at first suggested that Mubarak should go, and then reversed his stand, saying that the Egyptian president should remain in office until September when elections would be held.

Now, US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has thrown her weight behind Suleiman.

There are fears across Europe that with Mubarak gone, Islamist groups such as the Muslim Brotherhood will take over the leadership, which would be disastrous for their geo-political interests.

French President Nicolas Sarkozy reportedly expressed his concerns that it might turn into an Iranian style revolution. He was quoted as saying: “I hope with all my heart for Egypt’s nascent democracy that they take time to create the structures and principles that will help them find the path to democracy and not another form of dictatorship, religious dictatorship, as happened in Iran.”

Such fears are not entirely unfounded.

During the Iranian Revolution, the people ousted the Shah of Iran, which then saw the return of Ayatollah Khomeini, who had been in exile in France, to take over the leadership.

Decades later, the people who had celebrated the fall of the Shah must be thinking differently about what they had wished for.

As the saying goes, be careful what you wish for. They had dumped a corrupt monarchy only to trade it for a repressive, theocratic regime. Democracy is now regarded as a Western concept that is unsuitable in the religious structure of their country; and when the name of God is invoked, not many of the faithful would dare to challenge the men in religious cloaks.

Many liberal and talented Iranians, unable to stand the choking religious-political make-up of their country, have left their once moderate homeland for Europe.

As of now, we are still unclear where Egypt is heading. Will the United States and Europe prop up the non-credible Suleiman or will the army generals call the shots until a genuine presidential election is called this autumn?

One thing is for sure, though. No one – whether it’s Suleiman, the army or the Islamists – should ever take the people for granted.

They have gathered by the thousands demanding reforms and, having succeeded, they would do so again if they have to.

They know they can mobilise themselves. As some have correctly said, for the first time a people’s revolution has taken shape and succeeded via SMS, YouTube, Twitter and Facebook.

Times have changed but, unfortunately, Mubarak did not notice the Internet Generation. Perhaps he was arrogant or was simply out of touch.

Mubarak is now on retirement at the seaside resort of Sharm el-Sheikh whereas Tunisia’s ousted president, Zine El Abidine Ben Ali, has run off to Saudi Arabia.

Many Arab leaders must be having nightmares now.

Despite their horrendous human rights records, with elections non-existent in their countries, they have escaped world scrutiny because they are oil producers and allies of the United States. So the US media looked the other way, preferring to land their punches instead on China, an economic rival.

Let’s not look far. In Malaysia, we have our fair share of politicians who should have long ago called it a day and left to spend their time doting on their grandchildren.

But they are still around, insisting that their work has not been completed. They are there on both sides of the political divide.

The Egyptian lesson is for all. Never overstay in politics – people will get sick and tired of you.