WELCOME to 2025. It’s a brand new year and like many Malaysians, we readily look forward to a better year.

I am a fervid optimist but also a realistic person. I have also learnt to exercise more patience and tolerance as I get older.

As I prepare to turn 64 in the coming months, there is no longer any need to pull my hair out over minor irritations, especially when losing hair is already a major concern.

It’s good to be idealistic but many things will simply not change. Let’s face it.

It’s like our perennial reminder at the mamak shop for teh tarik to have less sugar. You can be sure it will still come sweet….

Also, it’s an exciting year ahead. We have two important items in our diary and the world will set its eyes on us.

Malaysia is now the chairman of Asean, and we will use the occasion to kick off Visit Malaysia Year 2026.

We are happy to welcome foreigners to our lovely country, even if some of us see red over the flying of a foreign flag.

China tourists need to understand local sensitivities but they are welcome to fly the red Arsenal or Liverpool flags, though! I’m not sure if China football fans still have any enthusiasm for Manchester United now.

Tourists also love our durians and other food, that’s for sure. But it may not be enough to drive arrival numbers up in a massive way.

One option may be to convince tourists to come over to enjoy our monsoon season on the East Coast. We may call one lawmaker who suggested that last year ignorant but floods would be something to think about.

Why not? We could make Thailand’s Songkhran water festival look like child’s play.

And for once, some puritanical political party lads won’t complain about visitors in drenched clothing, probably provocative to them in normal circumstances.

Surely they cannot impose a decree to say that tourists must always be in dry clothes at all times during the wet season?

Kedah, another tourist hinterland, has to wake up. Something must be happening in neighbouring Hatyai, Thailand.

Over the weekend, 500,000 people – mostly Malaysians – flocked to this southern Thai town. We can assume they are mainly northerners.

News reports said they were there for the “affordable, delicious and authentic halal Thai food”.

During Malaysia Day last year, millions reportedly spent RM100mil in five southern Thai provinces.

This is unacceptable, really. Patriotic Malaysians, especially from Kelantan, Kedah, Perlis, and Terengganu, should be spending RM100mil in their own beloved states.

It isn’t good when Hatyai is preferred over Langkawi Island, which has been getting bad press as a dull place.

But I am not buying these narratives which aim at making us look bad. How can halal food in southern Thailand be more halal than those in Kedah and Kelantan?

We would want to see Thais coming over to Kelantan, for example, for a change because it serves real, authentic, and affordable halal food.

We have it too: Penang is the best place for real, authentic, affordable food – halal (below) or non-halal. There is no need to travel to Thailand for a delicious meal, says the writer. — The Star

I have lost count of my many trips to Hatyai because I am from Penang, which is just a short trip across the border.

I took an “uncle” to watch a “tiger show” and after an hour, we were utterly disappointed.

Scam was not an oft-used word then but we didn’t see any tigers at all. I had a tough time pacifying the flabbergasted uncle, who was still complaining about being cheated, even after we returned to Penang.“Better we go to Zoo Negara the next time. Not going back again,” he said.

I also could not convince him that the chickens along the way into Hatyai were really good. I mean roast chickens, the type we eat!

Back to the monsoon season. Kelantan and Terengganu could be better options than Hatyai.

Tourists do not need to fork out a pile of money for beach chalets. They can just plunge into the flowing flood waters anywhere and anytime.

Let’s be fair. When Terengganu was under Barisan Nasional, the monsoon season was promoted too.

I am glad no Malaysians are going to Thailand for durians. It will be a poor reason, or more accurate, a poor excuse.

We should also promote Malaysia’s Dewan Rakyat as a tourism spot for comedy hour.

The year-end would be the best time as the meeting is the longest, beginning in October and continuing until December.

It could be our best tourism export and I am convinced Singaporeans will love it. Their Parliament pales in comparison.

Some of our politicians may not be known for their transparency and accountability but you can be sure they are competent in one thing – incompetency. And they will make a public display of it on the Dewan Rakyat Comedy Hour.

Singapore’s parliamentary debates are at sub-school standards level, seriously. There is just no drama or theatrics.

I saw on TV one nervous Opposition Member of Parlia-ment literally trembling away. Poor thing.

In Malaysia, we had an MP who made an outrageous claim that DAP leaders had blood links to Chin Peng and Lee Kuan Yew, and stays insistent that she is right.

To make things more comical, her party supporters sportingly raised over RM925,000 to pay her defamation losses to the plaintiffs.

That’s akin to PAS giving away this huge sum to the coffers of DAP, its greatest political nemesis.

The DAP, on compassionate grounds, could perhaps donate to Kelantan’s floods mitigation programme.

But then, politics in Malaysia is as unpredictable as the weather.

Almost all our parties have a history of shifting alliances, and the best part is you can rely on some theologians to justify to the faithful their politically opportunistic actions.

Obviously, Malaysia’s export assets aren’t just confined to boring products like palm oil and microchips, but also politics.

From Parliament to overly active social media, we have mastered the art of blending serious politics with side-splitting comedy.

There is something special, even mystical, about Malaysian politics. Bizarre may be a better word. Tourists will never get such hilarious scripts in sterile, clinical Singapore.

You can’t take Singaporeans seriously. The best they can do is reserve (it’s commonly called “chope” in Hokkien) a spot at a food court table with tissue papers. Yes, tissue papers.

Here, in Malaysia, we even get into a fight with the coffee shop owner and insist on occupying a table without ordering drinks. And get instant support on social media from netizens if the coffee shop owner gets mean.

Penang is the best place for real, authentic, affordable food – halal or non-halal. Tourists need not worry about tissues on empty tables at its restaurants.

If you see anyone leaving a packet of tissues on the table, just use it to wipe the greasy table.

Tourism, Arts and Culture Minister Datuk Seri Tiong King Sing needs to find new products for Visit Malaysia 2026.

He must think out of the box, to use an overused cliché. His opponents, meanwhile, are not thinking but they are waiting to box him in in Parliament. They are turning up the heat on him.

Here’s to 2025, with another year of Malaysian humour, wit, satire, and memes.

As I said at the start, many things will not change. Or, like the Thais love to say: “Same same.”

But we must learn to laugh at ourselves.

AHEAD of Jan 1, like millions of people around the world, I try to draft an annual list of New Year resolutions.

It’s really a futile annual ritual because the resolutions always remain unfulfilled, much like the empty pledges made by politicians.

Despite that, I have attempted to draw up a list, fuelled by some naive optimism and delusional belief in myself, mostly.

Top on the list is to radically give up all forms of carbohydrates.

By that, I mean no more nasi lemak, chicken rice, nasi kandar, clay pot chicken rice, mee tarik, mee goreng mamak, Hokkien mee, and all the sinful but delicious food that’s only available in heavenly Malaysia.

Even as I write this, I already know it is a doomed resolution. Me give up nasi kandar? Not likely.

Making New Year resolutions can be a really a futile annual ritual because the resolutions always remain unfulfilled, much like the empty pledges made by politicians, says the writer. — 123rf

But the doctor says I should. After my last blood test, he confirmed that I am no longer a borderline diabetic. I am in the danger zone now. I should have known better than to take the test during durian season. The doctor said I am now classified as a Type II diabetes case.

Of course, I disputed the results. I told him that as far as I know, I am just Type C, according to social media comments.

Until a few months back, I didn’t know Type C is how Malaysians of Chinese ethnicity are cynically referred to.

The doctor insisted that I may have confused Type II with Type B. There is no such thing as Type C in diabetes.

“Are you now saying that I am Type B? The Chinese who are bananas? Yellow on the outside and white on the inside and can’t speak Chinese?” I asked.

By then, my doctor was even more confused than I was. He looked like he needed psychiatric attention. I am lost too. I am not sure which is worse – Type C or Type B.

Since we were on the subject of diet, the doctor then told me I should stay away from wine.

I nearly had a bout of fits. This was blasphemy.

“Sir, you have crossed the red line. This is 3R!” I said, referring to the race, religion, and royalty issues that are forbidden topics in Malaysian public circles.

I had to remind the doctor that Jesus turned water into wine and this was recorded in the Bible.

The shaken man apologised profusely, including promising to remove his advice against drinking sugar-saturated wine from all his social media postings.

Yes, resolution No.1 is set to fail by 12.01am on Jan 1.

Now for resolution No.2. I need to exercise more. I should run around the neighbourhood more.

The doctor reminded me that walking around with my dogs and stopping to gossip with the aunties does not count.

“This is the 10th year that you have made this resolution and failed. I am worried about you. Start running and sweating,” he told me sternly.

I took a quick look at his waistline. He surely wasn’t practicing what he was preaching.

I now suspect that he is a retired politician. Probably a failed one who lost his deposit in an election.

You know, the type who, after losing power, says the community is in danger of losing its power. And they do it while surrounded by those who had toppled them from power in the first place.

Yes, it’s all the fault of the Type B and Type C, as usual.

Never mind, I think I’m confused again. That was not my doctor, but another one, who is much older.

I am already dizzy even before I start running. For sure, I have to re-look resolution No.2, too.

I will remain loyal and faithful to my couch. We have gone through thick and thin together.

Resolution No.3: I have to issue a warning to my senior citizen friends to stop sending me daily “good morning” messages as they are clogging up my handphone memory.

I can’t be spending my whole day deleting these messages. The wife has long accused me of “playing with your phone” the entire day instead of doing “productive work”.

And please, stop forwarding me fake political news as well.

It’s not true that retired soldiers are getting free durian land lots in Raub, Pahang. That’s insane. The land is too expensive to be given to old fart retirees, even if they are ex-servicemen!

The doctor also advised me that my blood pressure reading is good but “no need to be concerned with politics lah. No need to read all that news lah, there is nothing you can do about it.”

He’s right. Before the polls, politicians vow to be “prihatin” (concerned) and “membela nasib rakyat” (defend the plight of the people”) but afterwards, many of those promises disappear into thin air.

Poof! Just like that! You’d almost think Malaysian politicians have magical powers.

I promised the good doctor that I would read only the sports pages. But that was doomed just as quickly. Sports reporters have turned into political and crime reporters.

I guess they cannot compete with live TV broadcasts and have to look elsewhere.

The sports news is all about allegations in poison pen letters, financial discrepancies, and jostling for positions in sports bodies. Jeez!

My blood pressure shot up reading about these political wannabes in sports associations.

That’s it. I would rather stick to real scheming politicians. And there goes another resolution down the drain.

I really shouldn’t have bothered. It’s not even New Year’s Eve and my resolutions are set to become socially acceptable procrastination.

I will just stick to three resolutions which are set to fail, and continue life, as before, with my fellow Type M – for Malaysians and Moderates – and not let resolutions or toxic political and religious figures affect our national unity and sanity.

Happy New Year to all Malaysians, especially my faithful readers.

It’s Christmas, but it won’t just be Christians who will be celebrating. All ethnic groups will have reason to enjoy the yearend holidays – and that is what makes Malaysia special.

A CHINESE media friend from Hangzhou texted me the other day to say that she will be leading a delegation to visit Kuala Lumpur on Dec 23.

I replied saying we would be delighted to welcome her team but unfortunately, I would not be around to greet them as I would be on Christmas leave.

Expressing her regrets, she then asked if a Muslim colleague, a high-ranking person whom she knows, would be around.

My reply surprised her.

I told her the Muslim colleague would also not be present as she would be clearing her off-days. Another Indian colleague would also be away, spending time with his family.

The Chinese national said she had a lot to learn about Malaysia. She had assumed that with a 70% Muslim population, it would be business as usual in this country when her team arrived at this time.

I explained to her that while we have the public holidays for the various races, Malaysians of all religions also join in the celebrations.

It is common for friends of different faiths to visit each other’s homes to extend greetings. If we don’t do that, we will look to travel during the stretch of extended holidays.

By now, I could sense that she was thoroughly confused – or felt that Malaysians are always not working!

I was sure by now that she would be checking soon on how many public holidays Malaysians have. I can sense an embarrassed question coming from her soon.

Really, we are a blessed country. While we whine and grumble about ethnicity, none of us will quarrel about celebrating the festivals of every ethnic group.

We are the South-East Asian nation with the most public holidays, if we account for the state holidays as well, with at least 18 holidays each year.

In China, known as the factory of the world for producing just about everything, there are only seven declared holidays.

The United States is one of the few countries with 10 days of public holidays, while Germany only has nine.

My Chinese friend was also further bewildered to find out that I am a practising Christian as I do not carry a Christian name.

“Having a Western name doesn’t mean anything. Just like in China, so many of you have Western names,” I reminded her.

She answered that it was because many foreigners could not pronounce their pinyin names correctly with all the Zs and Xs in their names.

United in celebration: Members of the public enjoying the festive mood and colourful Christmas decorations in the Kuala Lumpur city centre. — YAP CHEE HONG/The Star

Naturally, Christmas is not a public holiday in China although New Year’s Day is. It’s the same in Japan, where Christmas isn’t a holiday.

So I guess we should not be surprised if the Chinese and Japanese think Malaysians will work on Christmas Day.

By now, she explained that the trip had to proceed, despite our unfortunate absence, as they had a budget which had to be utilised by year’s end. Well, at least, there are similarities in government agencies everywhere.

“Don’t worry. We may not be around but there will be other senior people who must be around,” I told her, and could almost hear the sigh of relief.

Again, she asked, perhaps to be safe, if the person would be a Muslim.

I had to disappoint her again. This senior person, I told her, was a Christian. Again, she was shocked as she had just heard that Christians would be away celebrating this festive occasion.

“Well, he will just take a day off as he is single, and he is in no mood to answer questions from nosey family members about his marital status. He will gladly meet you at the office, along with other single Muslim colleagues.”

This one, she understood perfectly. Nosey family members are, after all, a universal problem.

Again, I could almost hear her big smile, and relief.

While we have specific public holidays for the various races, Malaysians of all religions usually join in the celebrations and extended holidays – and the flip side of that are traffic jams, of course! — Filepic/The Star

But a week later, I received another message via WeChat, the messaging and social media app that’s popular in China.

“Mr Wong, not sure if this is good news for you. We will have to postpone the visit to January 2025, before Chinese New Year, due to procedural reasons,” she said.

Of course, it was good news for me as I had been looking forward to exchanging some cooperation, and can now do so.

But my single Christian colleague wasn’t too excited. He had been looking for a real reason to escape from the annual family interrogation.

“Boss, this is no good. Please tell them they don’t understand what Indian families are like, even though we are Christians.

“I could be already married to a total stranger by the time your Chinese friends arrive in Malaysia. I can hear my family already plotting away like politicians,” he pleaded.

As I put down the phone, I received a fresh text. The dates of holidays and extended long weekends for 2025 have already gone viral and 2024 is not even over!

I won’t be telling my Chinese friend this. Imagine what she will think of us!

How I love Malaysia. There is no place like it.

To all my readers, a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Resolutely defiant: Dr Siti Mastura has stubbornly clung on to her far-fetched claims even when the facts are strikingly clear. — Screecapture/RTM

PAS Member of Parliament for Kepala Batas Siti Mastura Muhammad holds a doctorate. The 35-year-old politician studied at the Al-Azhar University in Egypt before getting her PhD in Islamic Development Management from Universiti Sains Malaysia, with the best thesis award as well.

So, one would have expected her to be a well-trained academic with skills in carrying out research.

Sadly, accuracy isn’t her strong point. Worse, she has stubbornly clung on to her far-fetched claims even when the facts are strikingly clear.

She has now gained a notorious reputation and if there is any award for worst research, Siti Mastura will easily beat the other 221 MPs to win it.

Recently, the High Court ruled that remarks made by the religious academician linking prominent political figures Tan Sri Lim Kit Siang, his son Lim Guan Eng, and Seputeh MP Teresa Kok to the late Communist Party of Malaya leader Chin Peng and Singapore’s Lee Kuan Yew were defamatory and uttered with malice.

Judge Datuk Quay Chew Soon ruled that Siti Mastura’s statements were defamatory and that her defence – including fair comment, qualified privilege, and innocent dissemination – were not proven.

“I therefore award the following global damages: RM300,000 in favour of Lim Kit Siang, RM250,000 in favour of Lim Guan Eng, and RM200,000 in favour of Teresa Kok,” he said, adding that the plaintiffs would also be entitled to a 5% interest on the sum from the date of judgment until full payment is made.

The judge also issued an injunction restraining her from repeating or publishing similar defamatory remarks against the plaintiffs in the future.

Siti Mastura was also ordered to pay legal costs – RM25,000 each to the three plaintiffs, given that the three suits were heard together, thus saving costs.

Quay said he was satisfied that Siti Mastura’s remarks had exposed the plaintiffs to hatred and public opprobrium, and went beyond the realm of mere political criticism.

“Criticism of political opponents is legitimate only if it does not cross into the realm of defamation,” he stated.

“Despite holding a PhD with good research practices, she relied on a campaign book that was unverified, without a publication year, author, publisher, or ISBN number,” the judge said.

It isn’t clear if Siti Mastura will pay the damages, or if she would file an appeal now. None of the other PAS leaders have come out to speak on the matter, or if the party would help her raise the ordered amount.

The matter could have been easily settled if she had apologised to the aggrieved parties. Instead, she insisted on sticking to her outlandish claims.

It was not the only time she had done so.

In March, Siti Mastura was embroiled in another controversial claim that 1.2 million Chinese nationals have been in the country illegally since 2018 and had not left.

Home Minister Datuk Seri Saifuddin Nasution rubbished the claims, saying the allegations were unfounded and could not be defended.

The administration, he said, was transparent about the issue and based its response on data. The facts are these: 46 million foreigners entered the country between Jan 1, 2021, and Dec 31, last year. Of this, 39 million had left, meaning six million are still here.

Saifuddin noted that those who remained were here on long-term passes valid for three to five years, adding that this did not include those on social visits, diplomatic and student passes, among others.

The Home Minister added that 2.6 million foreigners who overstayed had already come forward to register with the Immigration Department.

Guan Eng has also said that the Hansard shows that only 92 Chinese nationals were detained as undocumented migrants during an early 2023 crackdown, with 809 being denied entry into the country that year, “numbers which starkly contrast with the figures Mastura had mentioned”.

He said Perikatan Nasional leader Datuk Seri Hamzah Zainuddin, who was home minister during the Pakatan Harapan administration, had admitted that the claim was inaccurate. Citing the Hansard from 2022, he quoted Hamzah as saying the home ministry would make a correction.

The Dewan Rakyat should not be a place where MPs can make unsubstantiated claims – or worse, spout outright lies – and get away with it by proclaiming their privileges.

Siti Mastura had to pay the price only because she made her allegations against the DAP leaders at an open political gathering.

We are coming to 2025 soon, and it wouldn’t be too much if voters expected a certain level of competency from their representatives.

Siti Mastura, for one, needs to go back to school as even secondary school students writing essays know the importance of checking facts.

If PAS picks her to defend her Kepala Batas seat, and she wins again in the next general election, it would indeed be bizarre and outlandish.

Eyesore: The Klang River continues to be filled with rubbish, mostly plastic waste, despite the efforts of the ‘trash trawler’, the boat pictured above that’s used to remove floating waste. — KK SHAM/The Star

IT is coming up to almost a year since it attained city status, but Klang has not been able to shed its image as a dirty town.

It was once called the dirtiest town in Malaysia and it doesn’t look like any clean-up has been carried out since it became a city in February.

Incidentally, it’s also the royal city of the state, and the Sultan of Selangor obviously has very good reason to be furious over the cleanliness standards there.

There are three other cities in Selangor, namely Petaling Jaya, Subang Jaya, and Shah Alam, but none of them has a royal tag to it like Klang, which, sadly and unfortunately, has the worst reputation for poor upkeep.

Sultan Sharafuddin Idris Shah pointed out many areas remain dirty and poorly organised, with rivers filled with garbage.

He shared that he had received numerous complaints from both local and foreign tourists, including those arriving by cruise ships docking at Port Klang.

These visitors, he said, had expressed their displeasure over the rubbish strewn in Port Klang and the Royal City of Klang, describing it as disgusting.

“It’s meaningless for us to be proud of our rapid development if we cannot even tackle fundamental issues like hygiene,” His Royal Highness said when officiating the launch of Masjid Jamek Cina Muslim Klang on Thursday.

Sultan Sharafuddin said rivers filled with rubbish and poorly maintained drains have also led to frequent flooding in the city.

His Royal Highness said that he had repeatedly reprimanded and advised local authorities and the state government to take effective action and plan carefully to resolve the flooding issue in the Royal City of Klang and several other districts in Selangor. Yet, floods continue to occur every year.

“We should not use climate change or excessive rainfall, attributed to an ‘act of God’, as an excuse for the floods.

“I’m tired of raising this issue with the government and local authorities every year, only for it to be ignored. Why can’t we solve this problem?” he asked.

Indeed, Tuanku has brought up these issues in the past while the media has also regularly reported on the pathetic situation in Klang.

One would have expected the Klang City Council to focus on cleaning up after attaining city status but for most Klang residents and visitors, nothing has changed. It remains the same dirty place.

As His Royal Highness has said, one can imagine the impression tourists from cruise ships get upon landing at Port Klang and then heading to Kuala Lumpur. The entire stretch of road from the port remains poorly lit, and with unkempt landscaping. Unfortunately, this is what greets foreigners first when they arrive in Malaysia.

Many tourists who flock to Klang for its food also share the same negative perceptions about the city.

Tuanku also pointed out the state of the river in Klang, which is strewn with rubbish, adding that clogged drains have also resulted in floods in the city.

It has been more than 48 hours since His Royal Highness made his statement but there has been no response from the authorities. What a shame!

No one from the Selangor state government or Klang City Hall has taken responsibility or even made a commitment to clean up Klang.

It doesn’t look like any appointed contractors will be losing their jobs despite failing so badly in their duties. They should be blacklisted and should not hide behind shell companies. The tender process should also be made more transparent and accountable.

They had better be warned – the Sultan of Selangor will now keep a personal eye on this shoddy state of affairs.

In 2019, the Federation of Consumers Association reported that, “Taking a drive around town will reveal poor infrastructure along the roads, shoddy or incomplete work done by contractors, broken drains, unclean roads, and even uncut grass. With even the most basic services such as cleanliness and proper infrastructure upkeep not met, residents in Klang are getting fed up.’’

Five years on, we are now at the end of 2024, and it is as if time has stood still in Klang. It remains a dirty and badly run place.

Klang doesn’t deserve city status, really.