Festive fever: Yee Sang is a popular must have Chinese New Year dish and many will wish for health, happiness and prosperity when tossing it. – The Star

THE best part of Malaysian festivals is always the short videos depicting the celebrations of the various communities. They take either the humorous or tearjerker route, but they invariably end with a positive note.

Social media platforms are brimming with Chinese New Year short films ahead of the spring festival. There’s a common theme to all these films – it has been a tough two years because of the Covid-19 pandemic, and younger family members are deliberating whether to go home for the traditional reunion dinner.

Many are struggling to catch up on their work, especially businesses (finally), while some are unsure if they could be a threat to their aged parents with the virus still rampant. But they all close with a happy note.

Well, many of us wish our real life Malaysian political saga can conclude with a cheerful conclusion, too.

We can’t tell whether to laugh or cry over the numerous political developments in our beloved Bolehland.

Our politicians and top officials have one thing in common – many can’t keep their stories consistent and believable. Sometimes, they contradict themselves, and the audience is left bewildered, and even entertained.

Thanks to poor narrative, there are always more questions than answers in the end.

Yet, these protagonists, being bad actors, are oblivious, presuming their audience to be simpletons.

Where the upcoming festival is concerned, I also love the tossing of the yee sang during Chinese New Year meals. Being the materialistic Chinese, we all wish for health, happiness and certainly prosperity – that means money.

We shamelessly wish each other “Gong Xi Fa Cai,” which literally means “good luck getting more wealth.”

Being known for hard work, perseverance and self-reliance, the Chinese community has accrued wealth and survives purely on its dedication and of course, business acumen.

Oh, how we love to trade in our stock markets. I still remember the good old days when there used to be a thing called the CNY rally, when various share prices would always shoot up before the festival.

Now, it’s depressing because our Bursa Malaysia is no longer the bee’s knees. It has become boring now.

My feng shui awareness has reminded me to make sure I don’t allow my brother, mother or girlfriend to use my account to play the market.

If you are going to dabble in stocks with a lot of money, make sure you can explain to your wife how you’ve managed to accumulate so much money. You don’t want the fierce Tiger at home to growl at you, I can hear Master Joey Yap advising me.

Certainly not advisable. It’s simply against the rules, unless it can be proven conclusively that there is no case against you. As the Hokkien say, “don’t be siao (crazy)” because no one can help you.

Here’s another feng shui suggestion – if you’re celebrating CNY. Don’t go to karaoke joints. Calculations and predictions indicate that a lot of misfortune can take place at these dimly lit places.

With the #MeToo campaign, friendly gestures at meetings with clients and staff, which may be normal, can be misconstrued. Leave all forms of corporate communications to guest relations officers. That’s certainly not the job of a lawyer or an accountant.

And stay 1.5 metres apart, as required under the Health Ministry’s Standard Operating Procedure.

Yes, you heard me. It may be a karaoke joint, or a club, but SOP must still be adhered to for your own health, profession and political longevity.

It’ll be a chore explaining any form of health or political hazard to your spouses, and electorates, especially.With MySejahtera tracking your movement, corporate meetings at karaoke joints to deliberate on the Budget 2022 seems unconvincing.

I know you need to expand to Vietnam and there is a need for the presence of Vietnamese guest officers, er, I mean translators but it doesn’t seem believable.

Possibly, a politician needs to meet their voters in a night club because in the evenings, in a more relaxed atmosphere, the electorate will be able to talk politics.

Dunno lah, just saying. What? Can’t hear me? Music too loud? Never mind, I can come closer and talk into your ears, so you can hear clearer.

All parents have this worry – that their daughters will get their drinks spiked when they go clubbing.

But in Malaysia, politicians can also get their drinks spiked. Don’t play play. Like that also can ah? Why not? Anything can happen in Malaysia one. In politics, there will always be plenty of jealousy.

These topics look to be high up on the menu of banter during the CNY reunion dinners and meals with friends, for sure.

Watching these videos always imbues a sense of nostalgia and that wish to be with our family members.

Looks like I must keep repeating to my 91-year-old mom, who is hard of hearing and a bit forgetful, that I am truly back home, and yes, I’ve contributed to the spring cleaning, too.

Yes, mom, I also used the power jet to clear all the lizard and bird droppings from the drain. Yes, everything. It’s simply shiny.

It’s good to be back in Penang. I will remain on the island for the entire three days. Yes, mom, I have no plans to go to Bukit Mertajam for clubbing appointments.

I’m sure most of us are looking forward to travelling home. Drive safely and take care. There has been a sharp drop in our Covid-19 cases, especially at the serious stages, but unfortunately, there has been a spike in political tall tales.

WHEN politicians and public figures are in a spot, they’ll find ways to squirm their way out. It’ll be flimsy excuses ranging from the boring to the ludicrous, but that won’t stop these beleaguered personalities.

After more than three decades as a journalist, I have my list of desperate attempts by politicians, mostly to escape from embarrassing situations. They might sound tenuous, but the jury is out.

The most common SOP is – stop the press – to end the mire of sticky situations. Naturally, blaming the press is the most convenient escape plan.

Usually, the subject claims he or she has been “misquoted” or that the comments have been “taken out of context.” Of course, in a recent situation, a politician set a new benchmark – “Where are you from? China, no wonderlah”. He insinuated the reporter didn’t understand what he was saying.

But my most memorable experience was when a federal minister claimed I had misquoted him (what’s new?), and when I produced my recording as evidence and to end the dispute, he sheepishly replied, “Well, I may have said it, but I didn’t mean it.”

Then, of course, our politicians like blaming external forces, which can be a foreign country, foreign media, foreign agent, or a foreign wife. It’s always mundane and unimaginative – “they are jealous of us.”

It used to be these foreigners envying our achievements but since the monstrous 1MDB corruption scandal, I’m not sure if there are other sources of envy for them.

Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad is a notorious serial recalcitrant when it comes to disparaging the Jews, so much so that he is deemed anti-Semitic.

He has claimed Jews ruled the world by proxy and has blamed financier George Soros for undermining Asian currencies.

Dr Mahathir may have probably blamed Barbra Streisand for bad singing or Dustin Hoffman for poor acting, too. Oh wait, did someone say Waze is a Hebrew word meaning free map? Holy moly!

In one National Day message, the former PM blamed foreign powers continuing with their schemes to recolonise the country. Of course, he has also blamed other races for their economic situation.

But the most creative scapegoat must be chopsticks. It’s their fault – they are envious, that’s why they keep chopping us and sticking all kinds of things on us. No one should use chopsticks. It’s better that all Malaysians are hands on. Use your hands.

Well, the American and European politicians are no better. They now blame China for everything, from the coronavirus they claim was made in a Chinese lab, to the disappearance of countless dogs from the face of the earth. Maybe the Chinese ate them all.

In Malaysia, another favourite or easy route is to claim that these allegations are politically motivated. That’s archaic, and surely there must be a more convincing way of absolving someone of blame.

We would surely expect such justification, inane as it may be, from politicians, but not from civil servants. Such witless rebuttals are as good as politicians accusing their nemeses of playing politics. If politicians are not in the game of politics, then why would they bother?

If all else fails, politicians always employ a tactic to stay uncommitted and remain coy by saying something which basically says nothing.

So, be it in Parliament or when answering the media, we are used to hearing their soundbite “we will look into it,” which only means they will deliberate on the issue but ultimately do nothing about it, a euphemism for inaction. Another de rigueur response to the media is “noted”, which also means an acknowledgement for doing diddly-squat.

There are better ones like “the matter is still being studied” which, when simplified, means it will be examined but will invariably gather dust or be lost in the archives.

Politicians in many countries find it easier to apologise to appease the public and to prolong their shelf life, but in Malaysia, sorry seems to be the hardest word (Thanks, Sir Elton.) Apologising is a major defect or well, a political impotence to our alpha male politicians. Elsewhere it’s regarded as a strength.

So, we have a catastrophic fiasco in the poor management of the recent floods but no apology. No one stepped up to be accountable nor apologise. Forget about Japanese style harakiri (ritual suicide, mostly in admission of blame), but shift the blame “kiri dan kanan” (left and right).

The most effective way in Malaysia seems to be by staying silent, weathering the storm and hopefully (and usually), Malaysians will forget. A fresh issue will crop up and the controversy will be yesterday’s news.

Or stay defiant, don’t buckle and stay put with the job. What garden leave? It doesn’t apply in Malaysia especially when half of us don’t even know that term.

It’s also odd for public figures to call for a press conference where the subject reads out loudly from his prepared text – and then tells the press that no questions would be entertained!

If that’s the case, why bother calling for a meet-the-press session? They may as well just post the statement on Facebook or other social media platforms. Despatching the release via email would do, too.

Haven’t the officials briefed their bosses about most media outlets now running on skeleton crews because of cost control, or reporters just working from home now since most of us are wary of contracting Covid-19 from crowded functions? SOPs are often not enforced at these events, exposing media personnel to politicians who meet over 100 people a day. In a nutshell, politicians are a health hazard.

Well, incredibly, Tan Sri Abu Zahar Ujang, the chairman of the Advisory Board of the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Agency, also refused to field questions at a press conference after claiming the media misquoted him at an earlier press conference, on Jan 5, which he alleged had created much confusion and tarnished MACC’s image.

He refused to take questions, noting the five-page press statement sufficed. It was an improvement. The Jan 5 press conference had a 13-page statement, but it didn’t answer what the media wanted.

Then, there are artistes and celebrities who have benefited from media coverage, but when their private lives come under scrutiny, often via their own fault, they blame and berate the press, saying no one should report on their personal lives. Suddenly, they forget that they’re public figures and that there’s always a cost to the celebrity life they crave.

It’s the same with staff from marketing or corporate affairs departments who go on their knees for help when their bosses are in trouble. These guys, who wax eloquent about algorithms, data and social media influencers’ impact, suddenly don’t know what to do for their clients.

Oops! That’s another story and this has run off course. But the moral of the story is, learn how to work with the press, and don’t be quick to write us off or treat us as scapegoats to save your skin.

Who watches the watchers? The country’s anti-corruption agency has taken a battering of late with some of its officers arrested for corruption.­ — Filepic/The Star

Our country seems to be adept at scripting headlines for all the wrong reasons.

IT looks like the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) is at its lowest ebb. The agency’s image is in tatters, and in the eyes of the public, an impression has been formed.

Malaysians expect an enforcement agency fighting graft to be whiter than white, with exacting standards of accountability, transparency and ethics.

If the MACC can’t deliver that, then how can the public expect the agency to execute its responsibilities and tasks?

Perception is everything. The timing of the controversy involving its chief, Tan Sri Azam Baki, couldn’t be worse for the agency because trust and confidence in our institutions have eroded badly.

Just last week, an MACC senior enforcer was charged with misappropriating US$6.4mil (RM25.1mil) seized by the commission four years ago. Shahrum Nizham Baharuddin pleaded not guilty.

He was accused of criminal breach of trust (CBT) with monies entrusted to him at the MACC special action branch chief’s room in 2019.

It was reported that former Malaysian External Intelligence Organisation director-general Datuk Hasanah Abdul Hamid tried to reclaim US$6mil (RM25.2mil) in cash that was confiscated from a Cyberjaya apartment after she was granted a discharge not amounting to an acquittal in her CBT case. She claimed that a portion of the cash was missing and was replaced with counterfeit notes.

Last month, two more MACC officers were arrested in connection with a heist at a businessman’s house in Jalan Ampang, Kuala Lumpur, involving RM700,000. Before that, two other MACC personnel were arrested and remanded over the case.

And now, Azam has found himself in the news for the wrong reasons. He is under investigation by the Securities Commission for his statement that his brother had used his name to purchase shares in 2015.

Azam had made this claim following allegations that he had interests and shareholding in several companies. The Anti-Corruption Advisory Board chairman Tan Sri Abu Zahar Ujang subsequently cleared him, saying the board was satisfied with Azam’s explanation.

But, of course, it didn’t end there. It would be surprising if Azam and Abu Zahar expected it to because it’s naïve of them to underestimate Malaysians, who are generally in a foul mood.

Surely both know that every securities account opened with a central depository must be in the name of the beneficial owner of the deposited securities, or in the name of an authorised nominee.

While Azam is understandably furious at the controversy, it’s difficult to be certain if his threat of legal retribution against those responsible will help him.

He has said “there were efforts by individuals with personal interests or with a bad agenda against the MACC”, saying “we have identified who they are and what their agenda is”.

Granted, that while there will be individuals or groups with political motives, many ordinary Malaysians are also asking the same questions, and they certainly have no interests.

Azam may not have to answer directly to the people, but it would definitely be incorrect for him to say that he is only answerable to the advisory board.

It would also not be wise for him to be so dismissive of the people’s sentiments and give the impression of high-handedness and intimidation.

It could be ignorance on Azam’s part that led to him allowing his brother, Nasir, to use his account to buy shares on the open market without realising that he had committed an offence.

But it would be erroneous for him to say that he owes no one any explanation because he is the top MACC chief – surely, by virtue of his position and the agency he serves, Azam is accountable.

Basically, the people want to know why Nasir needed to use his brother’s account when he has his own.

Surely Malaysians are reasonable and rational enough to accept convincing explanations.

There are no rules that say civil servants can’t trade in shares, and if he can invest in the stock market with good supporting documents, there’s no reason to doubt it.

Likewise, Nasir needs to prove he has sufficient financial means to purchase these shares on the open market and explain why he had to use his brother’s account.

Malaysians are furious because public figures, whether political or government, have failed badly in terms of trust and integrity. So much so that we have adopted a cynical view of politicians.

The perception is that the rot of corruption has set at the core. It’s now so entrenched that it has become a culture and an expected way of doing business. Greed has seeped into every crevice of morality, and all this has damaged Malaysia’s cost of doing business and sense of competitiveness.

Outside Malaysia, we are looked upon as a corrupt country where the rich and powerful can get away with just about anything.

Worse, those who aren’t familiar with our British-modelled legal system think that convicted persons can walk around freely.

That is simply because they have not exhausted their appeals avenue. Unlike the US system, they don’t go to jail immediately.

It doesn’t help that the leadership has chosen to remain silent over many contentious issues when public and government figures fail miserably, such as the mishandling of crises like the recent floods.

No one seems to take responsibility, and no one has been shown the exit for their utter incompetence.

In fact, when the public writes complaint letters to the media, to the help desks or even sends e-mails to government websites, the missives often go unanswered, leaving them frustrated.

Here’s some advice to our leaders: Put your ear to the ground and hear the loud rumblings and grumblings. They’re thunderous!

Hoping for a brighter 2022: The past two years have been tough not just for Malaysians, but the entire world, too. – AZMAN GHANI/The Star

WE usually start the year with the traditional well wishes and hopes. As Malaysians usher in 2022, we have busied ourselves on New Year’s Eve by sending out such messages.

I am an optimist and have no fear of taking on difficult situations. But this time around, I feel uncertain and unsure.

The past two years have been tough ones not just for Malaysians, but the entire world, too. I have lost good friends who succumbed to the dreadful Covid-19, and those who survived but were badly affected, are still struggling to regain their health.

Many lost their jobs in 2021, and those who retained employment invariably had their salaries cut and are still waiting for their docked pay to be reinstated.

Our lives have all been made more difficult by the unnecessary and excessive politicking in Malaysia, but at least in 2021, the competing factions agreed to end their disagreements, even if just momentarily.

We have a Prime Minister who has succeeded in drawing both sides onto the same page to keep the government intact and to pass the Budget.

He has come under fire from a demanding electorate, rightly or wrongly. But imagine the dire consequences if Parliament remains at loggerheads without enough numbers to push through the Bills.

The results of the Melaka and Sarawak state elections have also proven that Malaysians have had enough of politics and want a government that’s not held at ransom by smaller parties.

This is precisely what has happened to the Federal Government. It’s a government cobbled together by partners who have no love for each other but share the common interest of holding power.

Umno and Bersatu are forced to live together like an estranged couple, with their open bickering for all to see, as evident in Dewan Rakyat.

And then there is PAS. Despite having only 18 Members of Parliament in the 222-seat Dewan Rakyat, it seems to enjoy many ministerial positions, not to mention deputies.

PAS has become a member of an awkward family, which the couple is stuck with and can’t get rid of. Clearly, it’s a thorn in the side.

In other words, the present Federal Government is like a dysfunctional household.

The rest of us are supposed to feel blessed, blissful and thankful that the family is still functional. And we must also put up with a few relatives who are clearly incompetent.

PAS has cleverly continued to play the race and religion cards, desperately holding on to the legs of the contentious parents and pleading with them to stay on, even though a divorce is imminent.

But PAS has become so intoxicated with the perks and power that they just want the status quo to continue for the full term while we are forced to suffer and endure their glaring ineptitude.

So, as we usher in the New Year, Malaysians are holding their breath and praying that the leadership will be able to reinstate trust and confidence in all of us.

Malaysians are not asking for more. We need hope. A country and its people must have hope. Leaders, if our politicians can act like that, need to inspire and lead the country.

We don’t need grandstanding campaigns with hollow messages which don’t motivate Malaysians, even though the politicians involved may think otherwise.

The size of the participation at such launches really means nothing. In this time of the pandemic, it’s even worse and ill-thought of to get people together for such theatrical ego-inflating exercises.

Finally, if 2021 had to end with the woeful display of politicians in yellow boots, water-jet spray, animal droppings, VVIP convoys with imposing police outriders and poor disaster management, we can only put our hands together and ask for mercy – from the fumbling MPs.

For 2022, let there be no curry mee reviews, and we hope what happened previously was just an unending nightmare.

And let’s keep our fingers crossed that there will be no more unconvincing press statements from the various agencies to justify the inadequacies of their ministers.

Malaysia needs leaders who can always command, cope with difficulties, show spirit and resilience, and display their true mettle.

We’re asking for real leadership that understands and accepts that this country belongs to Malaysians of all races and religions.

There is a trust and confidence deficit now. So, less talk and more work, that’s all we ask for.

I wish all readers a Happy New Year, and hope that we will truly remain happy for the next 12 months.