This is the part that most of us do not want to talk about – let’s face it, spending a week with family members requires certain survival skills and guidance to make the holiday season a genuinely happy one.

So, here are a few tips that I have come up with in the hope that the next family reunion won’t be a morbid occasion or worse, at the lawyer’s office to sign the divorce papers.

Topping the list is how to show your appreciation for the Christmas gifts by being all smiles. It helps not to set too high an expectation. Remember to say how grateful and happy you are for those non-matching ties and books which you have no particular interest in. Yes, hug your givers and maybe even exclaim how they know you have always wanted those gifts!

Tell them, like how some politicians lie through their teeth, that you are amazed they could read your mind. Believe me, your relatives and friends would never believe it’s not the truth, like those voters who believe everything certain politicians and the Internet tell them.

Did somebody say that’s hypocritical and unacceptable during Christmas, especially when you could be exchanging gifts in church?

I would sheepishly say “yes”, but then, a little white lie won’t hurt. After all, we are a nation of people who swear we do not buy pirated DVDs (and justify this with the fact that such discs carry trailers warning us against buying pirated discs).

And see how we get all fired up, ready for a fight, over some religious issues; yet, corruption seems to be getting worse. How can one be pious and corrupt at the same time?

But most important of all, I’ve found, one should never discuss politics while trying to chew on turkey. It’s bad enough that the meat is tough and you can only guess what goes into all that stuffing. With temperature building up, a bird-brain discourse over a turkey meal can only increase the tension.

The last thing we need during a festive gathering is to spoil a family dinner with a heated debate over some lousy politicians. Please remember that not everyone shares your political beliefs, as much as you may think so. Keep politics out. Red is the preferred colour of Christmas, not yellow, blue or green.

Get to church early so nobody blames each other for failing to get seats. My two-sen piece of advice – there’s no need to act “holier than thou” by asking friends and family members why they only show up in church during Christmas.

Don’t spoil someone’s Christmas as that’s between the person and God. As for pastors, no subtle political messages please. It’s Christmas, for God’s sake.

Beside politics and religion – don’t ask single family members when they are getting married. I know the Chinese population is sliding down to 20% of the country’s population but seriously, it’s none of your business. Worry more about your spouse who could just be getting married another time.

With the church service done, the presents opened and dinner over, it’s almost certain the family will now move over to the sofa in the living room. Here’s where the fight for the remote control is likely to take place.

And my suggestion to avoid spoiling everyone’s post-Christmas dinner is to just settle on watching the giant anacondas, even though it has been repeated on Astro for the 1,001th time.

I bet it will be shown again this Christmas. If not, there’ll probably be some monster fish or giant crocodiles. I know it’s a lose-lose situation but by the time the movie begins, everyone will be bored or sleepy and call it a day anyway. Dispute resolved.

But wait, there’s still the washing up to be done! After telling the Lady Boss at home that her cooking is superb (even though the meal may have been bought), we still have to show how appreciative we are by offering to do the dishes. It’s a no-no to leave it entirely to the Indonesian maid, who will probably cry exploitation or worse, just pack off for home.

The only way you can avoid this task is pretend you are passed out as a result of too much alcohol. But only if Dad has not beaten you to it.

Luckily, Christmas is just a short celebration. There’s the 15-day Chinese New Year celebrations just weeks from now to worry about.

Merry Christmas to all readers celebrating the festival and happy holidays to all Malaysians.

With March now out of the picture, May and June have suddenly become the talking point. By July, the fasting month would have started and it is most unlikely that polls would be held at that time.

The Dewan Rakyat will begin its 20-day meeting from March 12 and this will be followed by a second meeting from June 11 to June 28 (12 days). The final meeting of 34 days, which includes presentation of the Budget, will be from Sept 24 to Nov 27.

While Barisan Nasional component parties and the Opposition are already at near peak in their preparations, the fact remains that Najib does not really have to go for early polls.

He has all the time in the world. There’s nothing really to stop him from going for a full term, which is April 2013, as some powerful figures in Umno have advocated.

While the political transformations are taking place, the economic changes need to be seen and felt. Announcements alone are insufficient at a time when voters have become cynical towards the establishment.

The High Court decision to acquit Opposition Leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim of the sodomy charge, with the judge citing lack of corroborative evidence in the two-year-long trial, has stunned many from both sides of the political divide. The decision surprised even Anwar himself and Barisan leaders as well.

Najib has said the verdict shows that as chief executive of the country, “I don’t interfere in the judiciary.”

But perception is everything and it would take a bit of time for Malaysians to regain their faith in the judiciary whose image has taken much knocking. To be blunt, its image is badly dented.

For the prosecution, the case was another fiasco. Malaysians are now used to reading about the poor chain of evidence handling, which has seen the prosecution continuously losing many high-profile cases. One may even ask why bother to charge Anwar in the first place if the case, in particular the evidence, is weak.

Our public institutions have come under much scrutiny and rightly so. Still, we must not forget the high standard of integrity that has been kept by the Auditor-General’s Office.

Every Auditor-General who has come to office has kept the faith of Malaysians, pointing out the flaws, excesses and wastefulness of government agencies and ministries. While it’s not corruption in many cases, there were glaring examples of careless spending of taxpayers’ money, something Malaysians would describe as “spending like it’s their grandfather’s money”.

The controversial National Feedlot Corporation issue began with the findings in the A-G’s report and it has snowballed since then.

The police must also be lauded for their sharp improvement in handling public display of dissent. Certainly, the force has learned from the lessons of the Bersih 2.0 rally.

The public will not be convinced when the police say they fired water cannons into Tung Shin Hospital because they were not aware it was a hospital.

The calm and controlled manner in which the police handled several recent demonstrations deserves credit. They are also more prepared now, recording their own videos and releasing information via social media.

In some instances, they have been faster than even the media, as in the case of the Anwar court verdict.

Political reforms can certainly be seen now but Malaysians still need to feel the economic transformation.

KTM commuters who travel between Kuala Lumpur and Negri Sembilan in horrendous conditions want to see extra coaches soon and folks in the Klang Valley want to see the tunneling works for the MRT project to begin.

If anyone tells you he knows the date of the elections, he’s bluffing. Najib has told no one, not even the highest level officials, so carry on guessing.

It is a ritual we go through year after year, especially the husbands. My wife is not telling me what she wants and the last time I checked, I haven’t been able to read her mind.

I am supposed to know what she wants by virtue of the fact that we have been married for 21 years. Of course, it does not help that my memory fades pretty fast as I get older.

Most of us cannot even remember what we had for lunch yesterday, so why should I be blamed if I cannot recall what she likes. Or worse, how we spent our first Christmas together.

Over the next few days, I will however need to be more attentive to hints, so that I can get the right gift. If I foul up, there goes my Saturday nights watching football and guzzling endless bottles of beer. The season isn’t even halfway through and I need to cheer Arsenal on to the top four spots, at least, with the boys. So I had better play smart.

This year, I am roping in our Indonesian maid to be my accomplice, asking what Madam wants for Christmas. I have told her she will be rewarded for her good deed as semua bisa diatur (everything can be arranged).

Then, there is my fickle-minded daughter, a teenager whose most used phrase these days is “bored”. If she has her way, daddy will soon be filing for bankruptcy.

But at least, this one’s easier to handle. I won’t be asking her what she wants for Christmas and she knows it’s pointless or, more accurately, hopeless, telling me because she won’t get it.

For the ladies, it’s so much easier to get gifts for men. We guys just want our tablets, watches, ties, cufflinks, CDs, video games, jackets and shoes. Sure, we like Harley Davidson bikes and those cool leather jackets but that’s stretching our imagination a bit too far. Still, it’s good to fantasise once in a while.

There are some pretty cool gadgets too. I just spotted a pillow with built-in remote control while surfing the Net. You know, half the time, we struggle to search for the remote control (hint hint).

Sometimes, the holiday tension isn’t just about buying the right gifts but also about food. Why must we have turkeys for Christmas? The bird is big and its meat is tough. The only good part for me is when we cook porridge Chinese-style the next day with leftover turkey.

For our Christmas party, Kayu Nasi Kandar is a regular feature and I will not apologise for it. There are no mat sallehs on my guest list and even if there are, they will just have to get used to this Penang-style Christmas party, where turkey is just a side dish.

But my wife and daughter do not want to be associated with this unconventional Christmas dinner. They insist that there must be turkey or at least a roast chicken, pudding, salad and lamb. And all those side greens, which I think are only suitable for rabbits.

It’s an annual tussle of wills. Sometimes I win and sometimes they win. Most times, it’s a compromise, especially when I have successfully cajoled my friends to ask the wife if nasi kandar is on the menu.

Though annoyed, she would politely reply it would be served, they tell me later. For this devilish plot, my friends get to drink my best wine.

When it comes to selecting music for the ambience, I’m glad to say this one’s totally my turf. Besides the 80s retro music, there are the compulsory Christmas songs, including those by Mariah Carey and Kenny G. Of course, 88.9 FM is a must too.

But the most important Christmas present for me is the “gift” of family, relatives and friends. Christmas is about giving and sharing. Without all these, there is no Christmas.

Not forgetting, of course, the tradition of carolling where we sing praises and extol the joys of the season.

Let’s not get ourselves upset over a statement by a low-ranking policeman on the need to apply for police permits for carolling as the country’s top leaders have stated there is no need for such a silly ruling.

Let’s stop this silly political cash-in on a policeman’s statement. Surely the cops wouldn’t want all this paperwork during the holidays.

It’s a season to be merry, so let’s put aside politics for a while and just celebrate the year’s end.

Merry Christmas to all Malaysians, especially readers of this column.

The independence that came with it for young adults was just too irresistible. Living alone or sharing an apartment with friends offered better privacy than staying with the folks, even if it ate into their pay.

But many unmarried young Malaysian adults, especially among the urban middle class, are now opting to stay with their parents.

They have become a lot smarter. They get to keep their salaries while enjoying the comforts of a proper home and do not have to pay for the utility and household food bills. They also have the maid to take care of their demands, which include washing their cars.

No wonder our kids grumble when they are picked for National Service, which is really just like an outward bound training programme compared with the real McCoy in Singapore. There, they are dressed and treated like real soldiers.

Living such pampered lifestyles, where many seem to have their own cars even when they are still in college, these young adults’ outlook has also changed.

Employers have found that many job entrants snub a RM2,500 starting salary even when they have yet to prove themselves. Some already receive pocket money of about RM1,000 a month and fear losing their allowances from their parents once they start working. For these spoiled kids, it’s just bad mathematics.

Some, I have been told, receive pocket money of at least RM2,000 a month because they maintain a lifestyle that includes having regular sessions at Starbucks and clubs and, of course, raking up bills for the mobile phone and iPad.

So, the result is they can be choosy. This attitude is an issue faced by many employers these days.

We do not need an in-depth survey to know the condition of the job market. A managing director of a media company told me last week that a young applicant refused to accept her job offer because the office was located in Petaling Jaya.

“She said her home was in Cheras and having to wake up early to beat the traffic jam to PJ wasn’t appealing. So she just turned us down,” she said.

Good workers are hard to come by and it does not help that Malaysian employers are not quite prepared to offer competitive salaries, conscious of the fact that this would add to their costs.

Young staff bring in greater energy, freshness and a better outlook but these don’t necessarily come with more passion or loyalty. Young Malaysians today would probably have worked in at least six companies, maybe even more, within a short period.

The good ones know they would be talent scouted or they would simply leave for other jobs that offered better salaries and perks.

This writer has worked for The Star for 27 years, which probably makes me a Jurassic subject here. I have had only one employer and while it may seem strange to many young people, those of my generation would understand.

I travelled around campus on a motorcycle, which was regarded as a privilege then, and I used the same kap cai when I started work in Penang.

Getting my first car, which was the result of some serious saving, was a great achievement. And it was a second-hand car.

The biggest headache for employers today, however, is the inability of many job seekers to speak and write well in English. This is high on the list of minimum requirements.

Recruitment advertisements, whether in print or online, state clearly that English is an absolute essential, but many job seekers cannot pass this first hurdle.

“It has become a norm to hear applicants speaking in Bahasa Malaysia or Mandarin when they call up. You can tell that they cannot even carry out a simple conversation in English,’’ an employer tells me.

But as Malaysian companies look beyond the local market, which is really tiny in comparison to Indonesia, India, China or the Middle East, they would acknowledge that applicants who speak more than just English would be more marketable.

My non-Chinese friends are often annoyed when they read job advertisements specifying Mandarin-speaking candidates. I tell them many Malaysian Chinese from English-medium schools would share their feelings.

“Bananas” like me – yellow outside but white inside – would struggle like my non-Chinese brethren if we were in China because of our language handicap. The reality is that many companies need to do business in China, which has become the world’s most important market. And with Europe on the decline economically, China’s status has become even more powerful.

So there really is nothing discriminatory about those advertisements. A Malay who can speak and write Chinese would probably get the job. There are two Malay reporters in The Star with these skills and they are regarded as gems.

Dubai is also a strategic hub with many multi-national companies setting up their regional headquarters there. Surely, job seekers who speak Arabic would enjoy an advantage there.

The question is how ready are our young adults to learn new skills, including language and even social networking skills, to make them more marketable?

We won’t go far if we continue to whine at the demands of our employers or just prefer to stay within the confines of Daddy’s home.

Go out there and challenge yourselves.

But many unmarried young Malaysian adults, especially among the urban middle class, are now opting to stay with their parents.

I don’t know about you but the voices of women have long dominated my home. You see, I am the only man in the house. I am out-voted.

There’s my wife, my mother-in-law, my Indonesian maid, my daughter, my sister-in-law and for a while, my female pet dog. The roaring Spitz has unfortunately passed away after 16 years of loyal companionship.

So, the ladies take control and take charge of everything. I believe they enjoy looking at me believing that I am in charge. I even suspect they laugh behind my back.

We, men, are all suckers. We are being manipulated by our wives and daughters who easily twist us around their little fingers.

It’s even scarier now because they are beginning to sound like deejay Joanne Kam. That tough-talking woman, I know, is going to soon cause a riot in my house. She will make our women activists sound like nuns at this rate.

What’s happening? Money and power, that’s what. The root of all evil. Women are talking big because they have money and power. Look at the statistics – 50% of the population are women in Malaysia. And yes, they are also all consumers.

Even more interesting, in the computer industry in Malaysia, about 60% of workers are women and they hold middle and top management posts. It’s almost a phenomenon and has become a subject of serious academic studies.

“In the United States, technology and masculinity are very connected, which is not the case in Malaysia,” said Ulf Mellstrom, a professor of gender and technology at Lulea University of Technology in Sweden in his paper Why is Computer Science in Malaysia Dominated by Women?

We men still think we are calling the shots. We tell the survey people we are in charge but in fact, we are not. Sorry guys, let’s face it. It’s okay to cry.

In the United States, women are making purchasing decisions, the reports say 80% of discretionary purchases. They tend to be more brand loyal and more viral than men. Of course, it helps that their income is increasing.

Companies that have resisted targeting women are starting to do so. They used to worry about risking their male audience but with the present economic uncertainties, companies are throwing away conventional marketing strategies and trying out new ideas.

Even car companies are re-thinking their sales target, wondering whether during tough times, men are the ones who choose their cars or it’s the wife – the one juggling the household budget – who will have the ultimate voice.

There’s another compelling reason – women outlive men, and that’s a fact. So it makes business sense to keep female customers, especially when they are brand loyal. Men claim women are fickle minded but not when it comes to brands.

Also, as one writer Dick Masterson said: “The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around” after burning themselves out.

Who would have thought that women presenters would become a regular in our football shows? I know some of us think they are merely decorative but come on, it beats listening to a couple of bald, retired footballers, pretending to sound technical and clever but telling us things we already know.

Let’s admit it, the women presenters look better. Try talking football to Patricia Knudsen, one of Capital FM88.9 announcers, who is also on the ESPN Castrol Football Crazy show.

But there’s hope at home. God is fair. There are now two new additions to my home – two boys. One is three years old and the other eight months. No, they are not my kids, but my nephews.

I can’t wait for them to grow up soon so that we can conspire and pretend to be stupid and lazy while the women do the work and pamper us. We may just have the last laugh.

Meanwhile, we will tune in to Capital FM88.9 to find out their inner feelings and thoughts. The plot has begun.