Kept or not, they are bound to give us a good laugh as we herald 2014.

AS we say goodbye to 2013 and welcome 2014, here are 10 New Year resolutions for some Malaysian politicians. They are naturally meant to be broken, like most election promises.

Resolution No. 1: If I don’t have anything clever to say, I will not say anything.

This is probably one of the most difficult tasks for any politician. Politicians are required to say something. Anything. But there is always a way out, no matter how ridiculous I sound. I can always blame the press for asking me all sorts of questions in the first place.

Resolution No. 2: I will listen more attentively during Parliament debates.

Oh no! This is really a tough one! I know I can learn a lot from all the YBs, even those on the other side of the House. I can even agree with them, but come on, I need to get my name into the media. I need to act silly. I need to interrupt. I need to yell. Anything for my name to be printed in the papers.

Resolution No. 3: I will refrain from getting suspended from Parliament or State Assembly so I can go back to the courts to attend to my clients’ needs.

That’s unfair! Why is the press picking on the lawyers? Or has it become an obvious pattern already? Really? It’s that bad, ah?

Resolution No. 4: I will speak up on the importance of the English language for our children.

Of course, I will not keep this resolution. If I promote English, the rural voters will be upset. I need to appear to be a nationalist. I must fight for Malay rights. You understand, kan? The rural voters decide. Don’t be naive. I also need to champion the Chinese language mah. Also the Indian vote, so Tamil is important. English? Aiyah, that’s for the noisy urban voters. Anyway, I am sending all my children to UK to study. I am not being selfish. I am giving a chance to others, I sacrificed my children. Let other Malaysians get their places in universities. So I support English, ok? Jangan tanya banyak banyak.

Resolution No. 5: I will re-affirm to the voters that all the 2013 general election promises will be fulfilled including reducing the toll rates gradually.

Aiyoh, don’t be like that bro. 2013 lain, 2014 lain lah. Everything has gone up. Beyond our control. External factors. We must think of the long run. It’s good for us. Too much subsidies will not help us. Deficit is bad. Please understand.

Resolution No. 6: I promise to use more common sense in my political work.

This one isn’t too difficult. I always think of the common people. Priority to the common people.

Resolution No. 7: I will speak up for press freedom and the integrity of the media.

Of course, I value press freedom. I always support the media. But please remember to always write good, positive things about me and my party. You have a role to play. You must think of the country. If you write bad things, you must have an agenda. Political agenda, you know? But you can wallop my opponents, it’s ok. That is pointing out the truth.

Resolution No. 8: I will consider retiring from politics and give way to the young.

Please, please, please. It’s not that I do not know how to give up but the people want me to stay. My supporters say I cannot go. Perjuangan belum selesai. I need to fight for justice. Yes, it’s not about myself but for the rakyat. So I can’t give up. 60s is now the new 50s lah.

Resolution No. 9: I must remind the people to be prudent, spend less, save more. Don’t always ask for pay rise but talk more about productivity.

This one is good. Very good. Yes, we must cut down on spending. Jimat, jimat. But please don’t ask about the pay rise for elected representatives, ok? Naik sikit aje. Bukan besar. Tausah ungkit yang bukan bukan. Ok? Yes, where were we? Yes, we mustn’t always ask for pay rise. Ask how much more work we can do. Malaysians must be competitive and productive, you know?

Resolution No. 10: I will avoid words like “transformation”, “world class”, “transparent”, “robust,” CAT and colours like jingga and blue in every sentence of my speeches.

OK. OK. OK. I am bored myself. And I think my speechwriters sometimes also run out of ideas. I will do selfies this year, OK? At least, I will keep one New Year resolution!

Finally, wishing all my readers a very Happy New Year and that’s a real wish!

What we’ve been fed, turkey and all, about this celebration gets dumped down the chimney.

HERE are 10 myths about Christmas and of Malaysians going on holiday this season.

Myth One: Jesus Christ was born on Dec 25 and Christians are celebrating his birthday.

Definitely not! In fact, for the first three centuries of Christianity, Christmas wasn’t in December or any calendar at all. According to most reports, Western Christians celebrated on Dec 25 after Emperor Constantine declared Christianity the empire’s favoured religion. Eastern Orthodox churches, especially in Russia and much of Eastern Europe, however, mark Jan 7 as the date of Christ’s birth.

Myth Two: Christmas trees are compulsory – Westerners chop them down and Asians buy fake ones.

The Christmas tree was introduced by German immigrants into America. Before that, no Americans felt such trees needed to be killed and decorated with silly balls. My preference is the China-made ones. Guangzhou is now the world’s biggest maker of fake Christmas trees and in Kuala Lumpur, the biggest distributors are in Petaling Street.

Myth Three: Santa Claus is fat, bearded and white and is probably from Norway or a Scandinavian country.

Not true. St Nicholas is said to be a fourth century Bishop of Demre, Turkey, who is said to have carried a sack of toys for children. If they are fat, how could they come down from the chimneys? Well, in Malaysia, there are no fat Santa Claus at the malls and I am more interested in the origins of the slim, curvy Santarinas. Who cares about fat Santas with diabetic problems?

Myth Four: Jesus Christ is white, looks Italian, has blue eyes and blond locks of hair.

That’s a good one but the fact is he was of Middle Eastern stock. He was born in Bethlehem in Judea and raised in Nazareth in Galilee, or what is present-day Israel. He would probably be darker in complexion, unlike the pictures drawn by the famous Italian painters commissioned by the churche­s. He was probably tanned.

Myth Five: In the Last Supper, Jesus Christ and his disciples sat at a long table, as depicted by Leonard Da Vinci.

Absolutely not. There was no long table. They sat and ate cross-legged. In Malaysia, it’s called duduk bersila.

Leonardo, like a modern photographer, had to fit Jesus and everyone into a frame, in this case, a painting. And since then, that has been how the Last Supper – the last meal Jesus had with his disciples before he was crucified – has been depicted.

Myth Six: It’s Boxing Day, the day after Christmas, and British Premier League football fans go to the stadiums to box themselves silly.

Boxing Day dates back to the olden days when servants and tradesmen would receive gifts from their employers, known as Christmas Box. In modern days, we would prefer our bosses to bank the bonuse­s into our accounts. No need for boxes lah, thank you very much.

Myth Seven: Turkeys are a must for all Christmas dinners.

That’s comical. This huge bird, whose meat is rather tough to eat, only made its appearanc­e in Europe, particularly in England, in the 16th century. In Malaysia, we prefer our extra virgin kampung chickens – and we also prefer the drumsticks and thighs. When it comes to birds of the feathered kind, Malaysians mostly hate the breasts, for some unknown reasons, unlike the Westerners.

Myth Eight: Christmas trees must be ­decorated with ornaments and lit up the whole night.

Again, it’s a lie. Anyone saying this must have a political agenda to discredit us Christians. The bloggers should stop it. The reality is we re-use all the previous years’ decorations. You can be sure that the lights will mostly be off this time, especially with the electricity rates hike now. Can’t say much about those fellows at the Portuguese Settlement in Malacca who keep all the lights on. But I am from Penang, and the lights are on only if there are visitors.

Myth Nine: Most of the Christians of Chinese origin will go on vacation to China during this holiday season.

Now that’s hitting below the belt. This is the best time to be a Malaysian because every­one else seems to be a Malaysian, regardless of their race, when they are OUT of the country. China is a NO for me because I can’t speak and write Chinese. Oh, that’s a surprise to you? Good, you learnt something today. I will probably miss my nasi lemak when I am away. Is that another surprise? And no, China isn’t my second home.

Myth Ten: Malaysians who decide to remain in Malaysia this Christmas will get to see some great movies on TV.

Fat chance! We can bet that they will still be watching re-runs of monster fishes, giant snakes and ugly Americans selling and buying junk passed off as antiques.

Have fun and good luck. Wishing everyone Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Be a Nelson Mandela. It is better to leave behind a legacy, where real people will remember you in their hearts and minds forever.

THIS is not another long article about Nelson Mandela but a reminder to our politicians on how they want Malaysians to remember them when their time comes to meet the Creator.

More often than not, our politicians only think about winning the next general election or worse, the next party election.

Their political goals, which are, in most cases, purely selfish and personal, will never take them to greater heights. They simply lack the vision and cannot see the big picture.

Holding the nation together as one in a multiracial and multi-religious country is never easy but Mandela held the respect of the blacks, whites and the ethnically mixed people of his country. He also won the admiration of the world.

In short, many of our politicians will never be another Nelson Mandela if they continue to preach race, religion and divisive politics.

The world has moved on. The media, through the various platforms, have brought people closer than ever. Travelling has become easier, faster and cheaper. Malaysians can see for themselves the changes.

No one can hold back Malaysia. No politician can continue to preach hatred and believe that this is the best way to get elected.

The pettiness of some of our politicians, regardless of their political allegiance, has simply not fired up the imagination of Malaysians, especially the young.

From the recent debates in Parliament and the respective state assemblies, I doubt if anyone can name a single politician whom we think is our Malaysian Hope. The debates at party general assemblies are worse where those delegates who look at issues through racial lenses seem to score points, judging from the enthusiasm on the floor.

The Prime Minister, Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak, initiated the 1Malaysia concept but since the general election, it appears to have taken a slide. It did not help that the Chinese did not support him in the polls, which has put the entire multiracial integration goal into a jam.

The communal-minded party leaders, unfortunately, are now reminding him to ditch whatever inclusive plans he has and to opt for a more Malay approach because the Malays are the ones who kept the ruling coalition in power. That is a fact, whether you like it or not.

The point is this. Malaysia is not about just one race but about all ethnic groups. In a general election, every vote counts. The battle to win hearts and minds does not begin three months before the polls, and granting cash allocations on the eve of the polls is not going to get anyone the votes once the people’s minds are made up.

Bashing any ethnic group instead of trying to convince them they would be better off with the winning side is political suicide, unless these politicians think they have invented a new political theory that deserves a case study.

If a customer refuses to buy your pro­duct, you have to find out why and work on improving it, especially if that person has been a long-time customer. It’s the same when the customer is angry. You have to find out why and work harder to improve the product.

We cannot scold the customers, in this case the voters, or worse, tell them we do not need them to buy our products because we already have enough customers.

The reality is, if we read our history books, which unfortunately many do not, political sentiments are never static, even among the Malays. It’s the same with the Chinese, who have changed sides many times. In a demo­cracy, that is hardly unusual and more so in a two-party system.

In any case, the point of having an election is to let the people choose. None of us can fault anyone for their choices.

And what has all these got to do with Mandela? Well, he came out of prison after 27 years and declared that he would never seek revenge against those who imprisoned him. One of his most famous quotes came from that moment: “As I walked out the door towards the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”

Mandela didn’t blame anyone for what had taken place but instead he chose to move on.

He didn’t preach hatred and he certainly didn’t play the race card, which would have made him even more popular as South Africa is predominantly black.

He refused to be like Robert Mugabe, who chased off the whites to cover up his own incompetence and his authoritarian ways.

And when Mandela died, the whole world remembers him for what he stood for. We are sure no one will bring down statues of him as has happened in certain countries.

There’s really no point being a political leader if it’s just about winning hefty contracts and getting endless praises from mindless supporters, many of whom have their own interests.

It is better to leave behind a legacy, where real people will remember you in their hearts and minds forever.

Be a Nelson Mandela. Preach the politics of unity and moderation, please.

History is interesting if we learn to live it, rather than just treat it as another examination subject.

IT’S a bit hard to swallow. Imagine you are a housing developer in an area like, say, Xian in China with its terracotta soldiers, or around Stonehenge with its ring of standing stones in Wiltshire, England, and you say you have no idea of their significance.

Can you believe anyone working or living in the area when they say they have no idea of these historical structures?

Take it to a Malaysian level. Here we have a Malaysian developer who wants to build houses in Lembah Bujang – known internationally as a historical area of archaeological significance – telling us exactly that.

The developer isn’t working in Jalan Alor or Jalan Petaling but is carrying out work in Malaysia’s largest archaeological discovery site.

And this is what Bandar Saujana Sdn Bhd project manager Saw Guan Keat said after his workers flattened a candi, one of the ancient structures on that site. The contractors subsequently removed and disposed of all the material that made up the structure.

“We had a site visit before land clearing started in September. We saw a stone structure (the candi). We did not know what it was,” he said.

This must be one of the most incredulous and outrageous statements of the year. And we thought that such statements could only come from our politicians.

According to Saw, they carried out a land search at the Kedah Land Office on Jan 14 this year before buying the eight lots of land from the previous owner, another housing developer.

“The search clearly stated that the land has no encumbrances. The company proceeded to buy the land in February. When we did another search at the Land Office on July 30, again we did not find any encumbrance,” he said.

In simple language, an encumbrance means any obstruction, impediment, hurdle or claim that stands in the way. In other words, legally speaking, there was nothing to prevent him from starting work on the area.

The company, he said, only knew it had demolished a candi after reading about it in news reports.

“If we had known the structure was a historical site, we would not have cleared it. Our company merely took over the project, which was approved back in 1994 or 1995.”

Saw lodged a report on the incident at the Merbok police station on Nov 29.

Well, that’s a bit late now as the damage has been done. But if it is possible for the candi to be rebuilt, using the same ancient materials, then it has to be done.

But the positive aspect of the demolition of the candi and the controversy it has sparked off is that even the most ignorant Malaysians are waking up for a good history lesson.

Located near Merbok, Kedah, between Gunung Jerai in the north and Muda River in the south, the Lembah Bujang area comprises ruins that date back more than 2,000 years ago. There are reportedly more than 50 ancient tomb temples, called candi, that have been unearthed so far.

It has been reported that in the area of Lembah Bujang known as Sungai Batu, excavation works have revealed remains of jetties, iron smelting sites, and a clay brick monument dating back to 110AD, making it the oldest man-made structure to be recorded in South-East Asia.

As one who studied Sejarah Melayu (Malay Annals) and history up to Form Six, and subsequently at Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia, I have always had an interest in the period of Hindu-Buddhist influence in our country.

Reading the writings of Sabri Zain in his website, which has a section on the history of the Malay peninsula, we learn that when a Malay speaks a sentence of 10 words, five would be from Sanskrit, three from Arabic and the remaining of English, Persian, Chinese or other origins.

The words of foreign origin include guru (teacher), asmara (love), putera (prince), puteri (princess),syurga (heaven), samudra (ocean), belantara (ocean), kenchana (gold), sukma (soul) and even sambah(pray). So is the often-used term “bumiputera” for prince of the earth or “puasa” for fasting.

For the Chinese, many Taoists may not be aware that the famous deity, Guan Yin, isn’t of Chinese origin but of Indian origin, with her Sanskrit name Padma-pani, meaning “Born of the Lotus”. It is already well reported that the Goddess of Mercy was originally male.

History is interesting if we learn to live it, rather than just treat it as another examination subject.

History is not about dead people, ancient culture, races that disappeared, disregarded stone structures or dates that we have to commit to memory. Rather, it is about how these historical events have affected our daily lives. Without the past, there is no present and surely no future.

Of course, there are many people and regimes that seek to rewrite history to their advantage.

But those who seek to re-write history to suit a political agenda will learn soon enough that it will never work because the past has a way of creeping up on us.

Malaysia is what it is today because of the contributions of all races.

IT’S a mammoth task, really. Six months after the general election, the National Unity Consultative Council has finally been formed.

The council has been given six months to organise programmes that transcend race and religion aimed at bringing the nation together.

As the Prime Minister himself cautioned during the launch of the council last week, Malaysia is a “complex country”.

Like it or not, there are already plenty of cynics and sceptics out there who have predicted that the recommendations and findings of the council will end up gathering dust on the shelves, just like the work of other grand-sounding committees.

The fact is there is a huge distrust over the sincerity of our politicians, regardless of their affiliations, even as the country continues to be torn by contentious issues.

Rightly or wrongly, many of these divisive issues are caused by selfish politicians and narrow-minded religious personalities.

We cannot deny that the destructive ethnic and religious issues in Malaysia are linked to partisan politics. It is not incorrect to say that a lot of things continue to be seen through racial and religious lenses.

In the aftermath of the 2013 polls that saw a huge majority of non-Malays voting against the Barisan Nasional, there has been a strong resentment against the Chinese voters.

From calls to cut Chinese businessmen off government contracts to promoting bumiputeras first in government-linked companies, such perceived moves to punish the community will certainly not forge unity.

It will only encourage the communal-minded politicians to push their stance harder, resulting in the minority feeling alienated and with a sense that they do not have much of a future in this country.

PAS, which saw its strength eroded in the elections, has also stepped up the religious and racial game to win back the Malay voters. The Islamist party has made no secret of the direction it intends to take in its quest to win back lost ground.

The Chinese, on the other hand, have to learn and accept the reality that they will just be able to win about 45 Chinese-majority parliamentary seats out of the total 222. It doesn’t help that their own numbers, as a percentage of the overall population, continues to shrink.

They can fly back from overseas by the planeloads, thinking they can change history, but they can never change the government – unless the Malay majority wants it to happen.

Choosing to ignore the historical foundations and racial realities of this country isn’t going to help the majority Malays feel comfortable. Trying to build up any form of consensus, whether religious or political, is now much more difficult.

The 2013 polls revealed that the majority of Malays stuck with the Barisan. Ibrahim Suffian of the Merdeka Centre was quoted as saying that the majority of first-time Malay and young Malay voters gave their support to Barisan, suggesting that the Opposition has not done enough to convince young Malays that their future was secure with the Pakatan Rakyat coalition of PAS, PKR and DAP.

Ibrahim also noted that this segment is going to get larger in coming elections due to the higher birth rate among Malays.

Given the changing population profile, Malays will be an even larger chunk of new voters in future polls than the nearly two-thirds, or 64.17%, of new voters registered this year.

Race and religion, unfortunately, will play a major part in our lives and you can be sure that the politicians will continue to play up these issues.

It is sad that pluralism has become a politically-incorrect word in Malaysia today while the celebration of multi-culturalism is shunned.

The trend towards mono-ethnicity and mono-religion appears to become more entrenched as the country’s demography changes.

When race and religion are given priority over talent and qualifications, with meritocracy dismissed as another dirty word, then we are for sure heading in the wrong direction.

How do we then instil confidence on our young, idealistic and hopeful Malaysians that everyone has a place in this country? How do we tell them that they are denied places and positions because they are not the preferred race? The fact is that whether we are a majority or a minority, we are all citizens of this country.

For the unity council to be more authoritative, it should be given executive powers which will make it independent.

Politicians and bureaucrats must be seen to stay away from the council, which must prove itself credible to be able to win the trust of all segments of society. Prove the cynics wrong.

We wish the 27-member NUCC headed by Employees’ Provident Fund (EPF) chairman Tan Sri Samsudin Osman and his deputy, prominent social activist Tan Sri Lee Lam Thye, all the best. We want to see the council succeed.

It is good to see credible and moderate personalities like Datin Paduka Marina Mahathir, Datuk Saifuddin Abdullah, Tan Sri Ramon Navaratnam, Tan Sri Dr Michael Yeoh and Anas Zubedy being appointed into the committee.

A notable name that has been left out is Dr Chandra Muzaffar who had proposed the setting-up of such a council in 1984 and had outlined in detail this panel in 1987.

Let us not forget that Malaysia is what it is today because of the contributions of all the races.

The future of Malaysia will also be decided by all Malaysians.